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I Am Really Happy

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marval | 21:18 Tue 15th May 2018 | Jokes
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I am really happy with my new job fitting heating devices into electric kettles. I am in my element.

The worst bit about buying a zebra is the check out.

I was absolutely hopeless at geometry when I went to school. I just felt as though I was going round in circles.

“You will meet a woman called Claire.” “You said that to the last bloke. And the five before him.” “Well, yes. I am clairevoyant.”

I fancied some tea this morning so I decided to start making a cup. Would have been easier to get one out of the cupboard really.

Do police briefings in the Amazon end with the warning, “Be careful, it’s a jungle out there”?

I went to dinner with an entire zoo the other day. Not everyone had money though, and I ended up paying the Lion’s share.

I used my burger van to ram raid a casino last night. There were chips everywhere.

Thanks to my partner I am going hungry at work. He put a penguin in with my lunch, and it ate my tuna sandwiches.

My friend is a qualified greengrocer He has lettuce after his name.
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Your greengrocer friend, must know his onions!
Maths? Nothing added up to me!....

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