My boss called me into his office to see how my first day was going. He asked, “How are you finding your role?” I said, “If I am honest, it could do with a little more mayo.”
My friend asked me if I wanted to go fishing with him. I said, “What is the catch?”
My friend told me he was going to sign up for the library’s Debating Club. But I talked him out of it.
I got arrested at B&Q earlier they accused me of stealing bricks. I was furious, I really took offence.
I am hoping to raise some cash with my “levitating vault” trick.
I often reminisce about adverbs, now and again.
I keep getting an electric shock from my light switch. I can’t work out why, I just can’t put my finger on it.
I took up fencing the other day. The neighbour wasn’t too happy though.
I bought a book to help me overcome my shyness and it really works. Now I can talk to people while hiding behind it.
French baths are the bain of my life.
My girlfriend threatened to leave me because of my obsession with Clint Eastwood. “Go ahead,” I said, “make my day.”