My Granddad
My Granddad used to tell me that there was a secret code that would make an egg open itself. He said, “All you have to do is crack it”
Saw a sign saying “Free Range Eggs” earlier. Never heard of ‘Range Eggs’ before, but at least they’re free.
Is it me, or is Turkish Delight very Moorish?
I was in the middle of rearranging the alphabet last night, when my wife walked in and told me I was out of order.
After doing core strength exercises, I’m claiming ownership of my local gym. Squatter’s rights.
I shaved my husband’s moustache while he was asleep I did it right underneath his nose.
I have started a band called ‘The Scarts’ I am the lead singer.
My weaver is an impressive guy. He’s not tall, but he looms.
I split up with my partner today after I caught him using my drinking utensils. It was the final straw.
I have a twenty pound note made out of metal. I think it is forged.