Insurance
After Mr. O'Toole's barn burned down, he called the insurance agent to file a claim.
He told the insurance man, "We had that barn insured for fifty thousand quid, and we need that money immediately!"
"Just a minute there, Mr. O'Toole," the agent replied. "Insurance doesn't work quite like that."
"What do you mean?!" he said. "The policy here says £50,000!"
"That's a maximum," the insurance man said. "What we do is ascertain the value of what was insured, and then provide you with a new one of comparable worth."
After a long pause, he replied "That's how insurance works?"
"Absolutely," the agent said.
"Well then," he said, "You might as well cancel the policy on my wife!"