Road rules5 mins ago
There's More
If anyone knows a good way to clear blocked ears, give me a shout.
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Me: Doctor I've hurt my penis in a surfing accident.
Doctor: Did you fall off your board?
Me: No - I slammed my laptop shut when the wife walked in!
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My wife asked me: “Is it just me or is the cat getting fat?”
Apparently, “No, it’s just you.” wasn’t the right answer.
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I was driving through a village today and saw a sign which read 'Max Speed 20'.
I thought, "Happy birthday, Max. Have a good day.
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My friends in Barnsley asked the local jeweller to make a golden model of their dear departed dog.
'Eighteen carat?', asked the jeweller.
'No', said my friend...'chewing a bone'.
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Me: Doctor I've hurt my penis in a surfing accident.
Doctor: Did you fall off your board?
Me: No - I slammed my laptop shut when the wife walked in!
___
My wife asked me: “Is it just me or is the cat getting fat?”
Apparently, “No, it’s just you.” wasn’t the right answer.
___
I was driving through a village today and saw a sign which read 'Max Speed 20'.
I thought, "Happy birthday, Max. Have a good day.
___
My friends in Barnsley asked the local jeweller to make a golden model of their dear departed dog.
'Eighteen carat?', asked the jeweller.
'No', said my friend...'chewing a bone'.
___
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