And There's More

[Rondy]

I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah, I thought "He's trying to pull a
fast one"
___

So this bloke says to me, "Can I come in your house and talk about your
carpets?". I thought "That's all I need, a Je-hoover's witness."
___

The other day I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow. I rang her up, I
said "Did you get my drift?"
___

So I said "Do you want a game of Darts?", he said "OK then", I said "Nearest
to bull starts". He said "Baa", I said "Moo", he said "You're closest."
___

So I went down the local supermarket, I said "I want to make a complaint,
this vinegar's got lumps in it", he said "Those are pickled onions."
___

[bobbinwales]

Even Tubbycoats must like some of them ones- very Tim Vine'ish

[zebo]

//So this bloke says to me, "Can I come in your house and talk about your
carpets?". I thought "That's all I need, a Je-hoover's witness."//

Was his name Henry Dyson?

[Hopkirk]

No, Tubbycoats won't have even sniggered. It's beyond him.

[Captain2]

She'll take umbrage with the 'him', Hoppy. (Doesn't take much!). ;0)))