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Rondy | 17:36 Tue 28th May 2024 | Jokes
3 Answers

My wife and i often laugh about how competitive we are
I laugh louder though.

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Because our new refrigerator was taller than our old one, I told my wife I'd have to cut away part of an overhanging cabinet to make it fit.

Not wanting to mess it up, I called a local radio home-fix-it program for advice. I was in the middle of getting the instructions when my wife burst into the room.
"You won't believe this," she said, "but there's a guy on the radio with the same problem!"

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A few weeks ago, my mother-in-law started reading "The Exorcist." She said it was the most evil book she had ever read. So evil in fact, that she couldn't finish it.
She took it and threw it off the cliffs and saw it splash into the ocean, all while holding her rosary beads.
I went to Waterstones and bought another copy, dropped it into the fish tank at work and left it for a day. Then I put it on her bedside table as she slept.
I tell you what, those screams were evil... so evil.

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Just bought a 75 inch TV to watch the Premier League season next season I've just opened the box and there are no Leeds....

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Found a chippy that serves fish and chips on photocopier paper.
It's a little plaice on the A4.

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I saw a woman talking to her cat, was obvious she thought the cat could understand her.
I told my dog, we couldn't stop laughing.

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I bought a pen that writes underwater.
It writes other words too.

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Keep 'em coming Rondy 😂

The cruel one about Leeds reminds me of my first teaching job in Leeds in about 1970/1 when they were going to win everything but got nothing, we all had the Leeds bra, all support but no cups.

There was also Gary Sprake the leeds goalie who was so despondant that he threw himself in front of a bus but luckily the bus went under him, same as many footballs during the season.

Gary Sprake was known as The Ancient Mariner - because "He stopped one of three..."

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