Checking up on me?

[katangel26]

Hi everyone, soz this is a bit of a long one, this just seemed a bit too much of a coincidence to me.

I've been seeing mr mechanic guy for three months now (how time flies!), my daughter started play school last week and went for her second session today.

I get on very well with my ex so obviously he came along to the session last week and the one again today, we went in his car.

My new bloke knows that me and my ex get on well and has questioned stuff but not sounded like he's that concerned about it, anyway so we come out of the playschool today and go into the car park to go to his car. There I see my new blokes truck drive out of the play schools car park and pull into a car park over the road (a churchs car park!). There he reverse parks so he's facing the car park we're in. I tried not to show that I saw his truck and when we pulled out of the car park I peeked but there was no-one in his truck (like he was ducking down).

I saw him about half an hour later on the way back from my sons school and he mentioned nothing about going out or going to the play school to fix a car or anything so I never mentioned anything.

It is possible that someone else was driving his truck and not him but if so why would they be at the play school?

Wasn't it a bit obvious? Or am I jumping to conclusions? Should I say something or just ignore it?

I'm all confuzzled!

[ummmm]

Start as you mean to go on......ask him !!

[katangel26]

He might wonder why I didn't ask him when I saw him later though, he was being a bit obvious though, it's not like I couldn't easily see him

[PinkFizz]

Hi honey!! Am so glad its going well. I guess you could say something along the lines of:


" I meant to ask you earlier before I got sidetracked, was it your truck that I saw earlier in blah blah blah, or did somebody borrow it??"

[redcrx]

ummms right and pinks suggestion is a good one.

Just ask him, if you dont youll be wondering about it for ages.

just say you forgot to ask before.

[4getmenot]

yer go for pinkfizz. If my new bloke was following me around like that I wouldnt put up with it for long

[I_Tried]

Hiya Katangel26,

So you have been seeing your guy for 3 months, How open is your relationship in these three months meaning are you in a relationship that you feel you can open up to him easily and vice versa.

If it isn't I guess there are issues there on both sides that need to be rectified meaning you need to TALK!!!!!.

Secondly you say that your ex gets on well with you, you didn't say if he is single or not but is he trying to get abck with you and you are not reading the signs well and if you love or want this other guy is it necessary that you go to school in the same car as your ex can't you make your own way to school and he his surely this would allay any fears of your current bf should he have any. sorry but can't help asking you don't stop off in a country layby with your ex on occassions do you :P.

I think the biggest issue is of communication and maybe your ex still fancies the pants of you and you the same with him but are trying to block it out.

I try but don't always succeed in helping hope my advice is worth it.

Mr T. A crazy fool.

[Kaylz1988]

I dont think you should have to make your own way to the school. This is yours and his child. So your ex needs to understand that you both have parental duties! And its good that you to get on but I i agree with one thing tha I_tried said and thats if your ex is trying to wriggle his way back in or not? If not then hey your new bloke shouldnt worry! You just need to reassure him that you are happy with him and tell him his behaviour is unacceptable!

[Kaylz1988]

Oh i dont mean ur ex... i meant to say ur Boyfriend shud realise you and ur ex have parental duties!!!

[katangel26]

Thanks for all of your answers.

Mr T. My relationship with my new bloke is very strange, we don't open up to each other much, when we got together I was used to talking alot about stuff and he's had to cope with everything on his own even in his previous relationship so we don't talk much about whats going on or anything like that. Some things he'll tell me and others he says he'll deal with himself, he's actually made me the way he is now! Although with my ex I can talk about anything.

My ex is single but my relationship with him since we split has been complicated. We did continue to see each other, without our families knowing, for a year a year after we split up which was purely a bedroom arrangement which suited us both. My bloke knew this when we got together as we talked for four or five months before he finally asked me out. But he also knew that it was me that ended it as it was getting too much like a relationship with my ex and that isn't what we had the arrangement for.

I think you're right though, I'll make my own way to the play school tomorrow.

Don't know why but I would feel a bit stupid asking him now, am thinking of telling him that my ex is coming with me again tomorrow and see if he's there again, if he is then I'll ask him. If not maybe I should forget about it as maybe I've accidentally fuelled his questioning.

Kate x

[katangel26]

You are right though Kaylz1988, he recently went to his daughters parents evening with his ex. I didn't even question whose car they went in or anything about the whole thing. He just told me how chuffed he was with the teachers comments.

[nuoyg]

I'd definitely ask him and see how he reacts, if you don't you'll always wonder and it could be something innocent. If he is doing it then it's best to find out sooner rather than later so you can talk to him about it.