My mate

[stevie c]

Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really peed off.
She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!"
The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway.
Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought the box back in the house.

She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.

Bob has been missing since Friday.

Anyone got any good jokes?

[warpig3]

Probably heard this one but hear goes:-

A binman is out collecting the rubbish and notices that a bin has not been left out so he knocks the door and a japanese man answers wearing a dressing gown.

'wheres your bin?' says the binman

'i bin in the shower' replies the japanese gentleman

'No, wheres your dust bin?' says the binman

'I dust bin in the shower' says the japanese gentleman

'No' says the binman 'I mean, where is your wheely bin?'

'ok' says the japanese gentleman, 'I wheely bin having a w@nk!'