Appropriate Hymn
Setup: hymns for church services are usually selected well in advance without knowing what the sermon will be about ... pity the poor song leader:
A minister was completing a temperance sermon, With great emphasis he said, "If I had all the beer in the world, I'd take it and pour it into the river."
With even greater emphasis he said, "and if I had all the wine in the world, I'd take it and pour it into the river." Well the parishioners were really focused on what he would say next ... and he continued, but this time shaking his fist in the air and said, "furthermore, if I had all the whiskey in the world, I'd take it and pour it into the river!"
His sermon ended, he turned and sat down. Knowing that the final song had been selected months ago, the Song Leader stood up very cautiously and announced with a sheepish grin, hardly able to contain his own laughter from inside, "For our closing song, please stand and sing hymn #365 'Shall We Gather At The River!"