Council complain letters

[imhotep]

Council complaint letters
1 My bush is really overgrown round the front and my back passage has fungus growing.

2 He's got this huge tool that vibrates the whole house, and I just can't take it any more.

3 I want some repairs done to my cooker, as it has backfired and burnt my knob off.

4 My next-door neighbour's 18-year-old son is continually banging his balls against my fence.

5 I request permission to remove my drawers in the kitchen.

6 Please repair my house � 50% of the walls are damp, 50% have crumbling plaster, and 50% are just plain filthy.

7 I wish to complain about the farmer across the road. Every morning at 6am his **** wakes me up, and now it's getting too much for me!

8 The man next door has a large erection in the back garden, which is unsightly and dangerous.

[pinktwink]

lol excellent

[imhotep]

Would anyone like another joke???

[pinktwink]

yes more more xx

[Buenchico]

http://www.businessballs.com/letters_to_the_co uncil.htm

http://www.businessballs.com/insuranceclaims.h tm

[imhotep]

James Bond walks into a bar and sits next to a beautiful woman. He looks at his watch, then looks at the woman.
�Is your girlfriend late?� She asks.
�No,� he replies. �I�ve just been given this gadget which can tell me things about the person I am sitting next to.�
�Hell, what does it tell you about me?� she asks.
�It tells me that you aren�t wearing any knickers,� James Bond replies.
�Well, it�s wrong, I am wearing knickers,� she says.
James Bond raises an eyebrow and taps his watch.
�Damn thing,� he says. �It must be an hour fast.

[imhotep]

Oooh ,hi Chris.I didn't see your post until now.
Sorry about that! Yes,I did see those threads of yours.
I guess they can be classed as Jokes.....lol

My Firefox is working okay now,it does tend to slow down a bit at times even though I have upgraded it a bit.
But apart from that,all is well.
One question though,I got RegCure and PC Tools Spyware Doctor installed but have not yet registered with them.Is it worth registering with them or not?

[imhotep]

Two women are talking. One of the women said to the other woman: �Before I do the washing I look at my husband�s pen!s in bed. If it is laid on the left it will be sunny. If it is laid on the right it will rain.�
�What if is erect?� the other woman asked.
The woman replied: �Stuff the washing.�

[pinktwink]

Thanks IMHO nice to see some fun on here

[imhotep]

I agree pinktwink!!!
I like to have a jolly good laugh...they do say that laughter is the best medicine you can get.
Especially when there is a lot of doom and gloom in the world today!!
:D

[imhotep]

John was talking to his fiancee, Rebecca, and he said: �Be honest, now, baby. How am I as a lover?�
�Honey,� she replied. �I would definitely say that you�re warm.�
�Really?� he said excitedly.
�Yes,� she replied. �In fact I would say that you�re the dictionary definition of the word warm.�
John was pleased until he went home and, just for fun, checked his dictionary and read: �Warm: Not so hot.�

[marval]

Thanks inhotep,

Some good laughter going on.