Animal Jokes.

[Spoonboy]

With the success of the fruity version (and veg). I thought that I should ask if you know any animal jokes? Some on the lines of...

I have a vegetarian lion. He eats only vegetarians.
(It's a bit corny, but his name is Chatsworth: this is not part of the joke, btw).

or...

Q. Why do elephants have wrinkles? A. Have you ever tried ironing one?

Q. What is black and dangerous? A. A crow with a machine gun.


Have fun everyone, and thanks in advance.

[tonyav]

Q- What is the fastest fish on the planet. A A motor Pike.

[Spoonboy]

very good tonyav: does that come with a side carp?!

[nannybooby]

why do elephants have big ears ......Noddy wont pay the ransom

[tonyav]

Yes it does, Spoonboy.

[tonyav]

Never play cards with a big cat, c'os most of them are Cheetahs.

[Quoi]

you have a boat and you need to get a fox and a chicken and a wolf across a river. The boat can only hold you and one other animal.

How do you do it?





stuff it - use the bridge.

[Georgiesmum]

Where did the cow go with his friends?
To the mooovies!

[marval]

What do you call 13 bunnies in a row, hopping backwards?
A receding hareline

[JonnyBoy12]

Why was the lion so popular in the circus?

Because he was the 'mane' feature!


Why did the lion not want his steak to be cooked at all in the restaurant?

He liked his meat 'roar'!

[jno]

why did the chicken cross the playground?

To get to the other slide.

[ll_billym]

Works better if you say it out loud...

What's a horses favourite TV programme....?

Neighbours.

[maggiebee]

Why didn't the rooster cross the road?
He chickened out

What is a French cat's favourite pudding ?
Chocolate mousse !

What do cat actors say on stage ?
Tabby or not tabby !

How do you know if you cat's got a bad cold ?
He has cat-arrh

[RATTER15]

A duck was about to cross the road when a chicken ran up to him and said "Mate don't bother, you will never hear the last of it!!"

[carrust]

Why did the dinosaur cross the road.
'Cos chickens hadn't evolved yet.

[tonyav]

Q, If you get milk from a cows udder, then where do you get milk from a bee.
A, from their boobee's.

[Spoonboy]

Thanks everyone, I liked them all. I chose Ratter15 for BA because it tickled my fancy turning round a popular joke.