Mortified

[queenofmean]

Went to the local tip this morning.

As we got in the car to leave I spotted a Wasp...Inside the car.

I got out and said to it get out (as you do) then get it out to Dad. Followed by a bit of effing and blinding at it and telling it to get the **** out the car. A lot of foot stamping and pointing and trying to find something to zap it with. Anyone who was queuing up to get in would have thought I was saying that to Dad. Who eventually bolted out the car as well arms flapping saying ‘where is it?’ It landed on dads phone so he managed to get it out and we left.

I fear we may need to change our identity.

It was funny though.

[albaqwerty]

LOL, ya loony :-))))

Are you allowed back?

[Buenchico]

I'm reminded of the time I was running for a bus in Sheffield in the rain when my foot slipped on a manhole cover and I went flying. I landed with a painful crunch ( found out later that I'd broken my wrist) in the middle of a group of lady shoppers and, on realising that I'd missed my bus and that my wrist hurt like hell, instinctively shouted out "Oh, f___!". I quickly apologised to the the ladies with "Oops! Excuse my French" and scrambled to my feet.

The following day I was doing my best to teach maths (after having been in A&E at 3am) when a young girl said to me "My mum says that she'll excuse your French, sir". Of the half a million people in Sheffield, why did I have to end up sprawled on the ground in front of a ruddy parent?

[albaqwerty]

Murphy's Law, Chris, was always thus

[queenofmean]

I’ll let you know at the weekend Alba...I need to take my old tatty wobbly shelves down.

Ouch...well at least you were excused though.

[Prudie]

reminds me of when driving to work one morning I pulled down the sun-visor and there was an enormous spider sitting on it. On reflection it was so dangerous but I was out of control, I swerved to the left while slamming on the brakes and was out of that car in an instant. Totally reflex, luckily a quiet residential street. A postman came running over and asked if I was all right and gallantly removed the monster.

[andy-hughes]

This story will only make sense to people who know of Jazz Man on The Fast Show, so apologies to everyone else -



I drew up at my local supermarket, and, unusually for me, had my local BBC radio station on. As I opened the door to get out, and turned my radio off, the announcer said "And it's seven o'clock here on Radio Stoke, here is Mel Hill, with the jaaazzzz …" and as a reflex action, I said "Nice!!", but much louder than I meant to.

Unfortunately, the woman getting out of the next car must have thought I was talking to her, and she ran across the car park into the store looking terrified!

I actually met John Thompson at a drum show, and told him this story, and he laughed a lot, and advised he would re-tell it to his friends.

[queenofmean]

Purdue...I’d have done the same only I doubt I’d have made it to the side of the street.

Oh Andy I’m howling! That’s brilliant! Poor lady though.

[queenofmean]

Prudie* sorry!

[marval]

At least you entertained everyone else Queenie.