Did you hear about the romance between the two blood vessels?
They loved in vein.
Why can't you hear rabbits having sex?
They have cotton balls.
“We had gay burglars last night. They broke in and rearranged the furniture.”
I backed a horse last week at ten to one. It came in at quarter past four.
'So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds". I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
I went to the Doctors the other day, and he said, 'Go to Bournemouth, it's great for flu'.
So I went - and I got it.
I tried water polo but my horse drowned.
I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day. Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.
I slept like a log last night.
Woke up in the fireplace.