Cold Weather
40°F - Californians shiver uncontrollably.
People in Scotland sunbathe.
35°F - Italian cars won't start.
People in Scotland drive with the windows down.
20°F - Floridians wear coats, gloves, and wool hats.
People in Scotland throw on a T-shirt.
15°F - Californians begin to evacuate the state.
People in Scotland go swimming in the sea.
0°F - New York landlords turn the heat on.
People in Scotland have a last barby before it gets cold.
-10°F - People in Miami are extinct.
People in Scotland lick flagpoles.
-20°F - Californians all now live in Mexico.
People in Scotland throw on a light jacket.
-80°F - Polar bears begin to evacuate the Arctic.
Scottish Boy Scouts postpone winter survival exercise until it gets cold enough.
-100°F - Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.
People in Scotland wear a vest and pull down their ear flaps.
-173°F - Ethyl alcohol freezes.
People in Scotland are angry 'cos they can't thaw their whiskey kegs.
-297°F - Microbial life starts to grind to a halt.
Scottish cows complain of farmers with cold hands.
-460°F - ALL atomic motion stops.
People in Scotland start saying "It's a wee bit chilly, eh?".
-500°F - Hell freezes over.
Scottish people support England in the six nations rugby.