Mike was walkin' up town past the AB store,
He noticed a poster stuck on the door.
Out the corner of my eye, he gave it a glance,
Saw that it said, "Come On and Line Dance."
For an older ABgirl, He thought "I'm pretty light on my feet,
I can do pretty good by a good steady beat."
So later that evenin' when the chores got done,
Mike pulled on his best boots and headed out at a run.
Mike got to the hall -- 'bout the last to get in,
The first thing he noticed, there weren't many men.
Real Mikes don't line dance, he heard some folks say
Real Mikes ride sheep, brand calves and feck hay.
Many have seen 'im on AB in bowler hats and fancy clothes,
Pants tucked in new shoes with real pointy toes.
The gals like Mamya are all wearin' short skirts or tight jeans,
Some lookin' real cute, some bustin' their seams. (Ed no names mentioned)
Well, now we're all here, there's a dozen or so.
Lady Alex up front says, "We'll start out real slow."
She's sayin' some stuff 'bout stomps, heels and toes,
And how we'll look nice if we stay in our rows.
Mike know right quick "this will be hard for me,
I'd forgot the first step when we got to step three." (that was the booze, Ed)
The folks all around him are gripin' and turnin',
It's becomin' apparent, Mike's pretty slow learnin'.
Now they're all at the end and Mike's still at the start,
He's reckoned he's missed the whole middle part.
Alex puts on some music, says "Now--let's do it faster."
Now it becomes a real bad disaster.
Dang! Mike can't remember his left from his right,
He's startin' to sweat and he's lookin' a sight.
Lady A on one side gives him a stare,
Says "What'cha doin' here? Ya'll should be