Mad over Fifties Club

[ladyalex]

The Club is now Open


All Members are welcome once more.

Sadly, our dear matron , Mamyalynne will be absent tonight as she has been taken on holiday to Welshland. I am sure all Members will join with me in hoping that she enjoys her rest cure , oops, short holiday, very much.
Because of Mamya's absence we will be facing a dearth of snacks. We will have to make do with a few crisps and nuts until more Members turn up when the nut quota will doubtless increase.

In honour of Mamya, however, I have concocted tonight's signature tailcock, Matron's Mixture**.

All raffle prizes will be gratefully received, please leave them on the hall table.

[petal54]

I hope health 'n safty aren't due again!

[ladyalex]

perhaps the driver would also care for a little something ?

[slinky.kate]

goodness maj.authority has gone to your head,you werent saying that last week????????

[Lie-in King]

May I ask what occurred last time they came? Before my time - oh & Miss Petal, DO have another flagon...

[merciasounds]

Never fear, Mercia's here with nibbles. Couldn't find any twiglets, so I went out to the nearest tree and picked some real twigs to dip into either Pilchard and strawberry jam dip, brussel sprout, kidney and mamalade dip, and I've also baked a Spam surprse - the surprise is, there's no spam in it! It's cold lentil curry, chocolate and weetabix sprinkled with crushed fisherman's friends and hundreds and thousands. You can have it with or without custrd gravy.

For the raffle I've found a gravy boat without a handle, a broom without the hairy bit - if you want to be pedantic i suppose you could call it a stick......oh and a rolled up tissue with a sucked sweetie stuck in it.

[ladyalex]

He's a little fickle, Kate. I've noticed that before.

[Lie-in King]

Ah, Miss Kate! Matron left strict instructions, I'm afraid...

...Very afraid, actually

[ladyalex]

mercia, so lovely to see you again. And such largesse!
Thank youso much. Do have a seat and let us wish this dreadful wet weather away.

[Lie-in King]

Good evening, Miss Mercia - may I tempt you to a flagon of "Mixture" or "Blud"?

Or both?

M'lady - I am not a LITTLE anything...

[petal54]

youre not trying to take advantage of an old biddy are you,your kingness?

[ladyalex]

OK, you're a big fickle then.

[ladyalex]

Not at all , Petal. And you are most certainly not a biddy.

Do have another drop of the good stuff.

[Lie-in King]

I assure you, Miss Petal, my new position wouldn't allow it

Thank you, m'lady, one must nip these rumours in the bud

Miss Kate - where have you put your chicken bones, please?

Now, can I top up anyone's flagon?..

[petal54]

not you m'lady,that flirty lie in king,I feel old today though,another dwinkys'll be great

[ladyalex]

Are you going to elaborate on your new position, your Maj ?

Mercia, can I just taste a smidgeon of the strawberry and pilchard confection? I've always enjoyed a bit of red fish.

[ladyalex]

Plenty of dwinkys for petal, the winner.

[merciasounds]

went blind after last weeks tailcock of pine fresh toilet duck and red bull...my wee turned yellow, and it made my teeth itch. Got anymore?

[Lie-in King]

I regret elaboration is physically impossible, m'lady - it's these trousers you provided, I'm sorry to say...

[slinky.kate]

the chicken bones are drying out in the kiln,i am going to put a hex on someone

[Lie-in King]

Miss Mercia, per matron's advice, I've made you a Windowlene & ginger ale...