Sadly, our dear matron , Mamyalynne will be absent tonight as she has been taken on holiday to Welshland. I am sure all Members will join with me in hoping that she enjoys her rest cure , oops, short holiday, very much.
Because of Mamya's absence we will be facing a dearth of snacks. We will have to make do with a few crisps and nuts until more Members turn up when the nut quota will doubtless increase.
In honour of Mamya, however, I have concocted tonight's signature tailcock, Matron's Mixture**.
All raffle prizes will be gratefully received, please leave them on the hall table.
Good evening friends. Is there anywhere that I could stash my brolly, galoshes, sou'wester and rain cape? As I was aware that Mamyalynne could not be with us tonight I took the liberty of bringing a few canapes and a bottle of slivovitz.
For the truffle I have 2 dozen used champagne corks, eight party poppers and three slightly used golf balls. Oh and last year's mid- year diary. Managed to rub out most entries. It has a sweet little pencil attached.
your wee is usually yellow? how strange, mines usually purple! windolene and gingerale huh...hmm, cheeky little number.....could do with something to pep it up a bit....hmm...let me see...washing up liquid? Nah......ketchup? oh no that would be weird....ah ha - got it....goes over and spikes tailcock with 4 star petrol....