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Mad over Fifties Club

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ladyalex | 18:59 Sat 16th Jul 2011 | Quizzes & Puzzles
222 Answers
The Club is now Open


All Members are welcome once more.

Sadly, our dear matron , Mamyalynne will be absent tonight as she has been taken on holiday to Welshland. I am sure all Members will join with me in hoping that she enjoys her rest cure , oops, short holiday, very much.
Because of Mamya's absence we will be facing a dearth of snacks. We will have to make do with a few crisps and nuts until more Members turn up when the nut quota will doubtless increase.

In honour of Mamya, however, I have concocted tonight's signature tailcock, Matron's Mixture**.

All raffle prizes will be gratefully received, please leave them on the hall table.
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'elp yerself yer ladyship - made a bucketful!!
Miss Kate! A hex? Are you vexed? Would you care for some Becks?
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good for you , slinky. Do you take orders for hexes.

Do sort out those buttons, your Maj. It isn't seemly for a butler to look like that.
mercia,my wee is usually yellow,but has gone pink this week,from the gin
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Pilchard ans strawberry dip..delish!

Are you sure yo haven't been at the beetroot, Petal. And can I press another drink on you ?
yes its my wee side line,i make chicken for everyone and keep the bones,i'll show you how to shake them later
Good evening friends. Is there anywhere that I could stash my brolly, galoshes, sou'wester and rain cape? As I was aware that Mamyalynne could not be with us tonight I took the liberty of bringing a few canapes and a bottle of slivovitz.

For the truffle I have 2 dozen used champagne corks, eight party poppers and three slightly used golf balls. Oh and last year's mid- year diary. Managed to rub out most entries. It has a sweet little pencil attached.
Attagirl!

Ahem, I mean "Very well done, m'lady"...
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Welcome, Daisy. What a plethora of prizes you have brought!

Is the pencil made of liquorice ?
Allow me to relieve you of your burden, Miss Daisy.

Please feel free to add the slivovitz to the large bucket of tailcock in the corner.

M'lady has asked me to enquire as to who drove you, Miss Daisy?
Good evening m'lady
your wee is usually yellow? how strange, mines usually purple! windolene and gingerale huh...hmm, cheeky little number.....could do with something to pep it up a bit....hmm...let me see...washing up liquid? Nah......ketchup? oh no that would be weird....ah ha - got it....goes over and spikes tailcock with 4 star petrol....
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Hello again, TonyV.
Haven't seen you for a bit.
Are you well ?

Do have a tailcock. I can recommend the Thud and Blunder
me thinks you need another drink Maj,your puns are wheely ott
Oh dear, m'lady - it would appear that Miss Mercia has spiked YOUR tailcock, while mine remains pristine...

Fizzing & glowing oddly, but pristine, nonetheless
That would be telling Your Felineship. However I do not take kindly to being compelled. My broomsick is not a tandem.

Niceties completed. What do I have to do around here to get a drink.?
Question Author
Are you all right at the kiln, Kate. You haven't hexed yourself, have you ?
Oh, pardon me - good evening, sir
Humble apologies, Miss Daisy, I've brought you a large one...
has alexanderd gone on hols with Mamya?not seen him at the snooker table this evening,noticed the blaze is ripped!

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