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Mad over Fifties Club

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ladyalex | 19:00 Sat 26th May 2012 | Quizzes & Puzzles
199 Answers
The Club is now Open.

Welcome once again to our weekly get-together for fun frolics and felicity.

The weather is being much kinder to us this week, so all members are reminded to wear sunscreen at all times.

The heating is off and it is time for the annual boiler-scrape and polish. Any volunteers are asked to sign up as a lack of volunteers will lead to conscription.

This week's raffle prizes include

a flue brush (handy for the boiler-scrape)
six black plastic rubbish bags (ditto)
a small set of step ladders, hardly wonky at all (ditto again)
half a tin of Zebo (ditto again again)
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Good evening, miss bear - a flagon of tailcock with extra ice...
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ANy suggestions as to the annual trip will be gratefully received.
Please fill in the appropriate slips and leave them in the lower butler's pantry hatch...it will give that butler something to do , sorting them out.
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Hello PB, you slipped in without my noticing. Welcome.

Perhaps you would like to spend dome time inteh walk-in freezer in the basement ?
The butler can direct you .
what about the london eye or to the theatre to see the lion king.
Evening friends, hope you are all well. Am a bit low tonight as my water butt is even lower. Even my weeds are wilting.
For the rifle I have a draught excluder (would be thankful for a draught) Scorchio is it? New to me. Half a packet of spicy chilli flavour peanuts (had to check they were edible) and an empty photographic film reel canister.
With the careful attachment of a broom, I'll sweep the floor as well...

Tailcocks, tailcocks! Get 'em while they're cold & scrummy!
Hello Pussycat. I would love a flagon and a few chips if you have got any. Thanks for your offer milady. I'll have a kip in the freezer later.
Oh you won't get me on that eye thing, I will guard the handbags.
Chips!! When I have gone to all that trouble - actually shall we send out for some.
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Now now, LiK I'm just trying to ensure that you are not bored...and get your money's worth out of you .

I'm off for an hour or so..lordalex has summoned me to help him to work the recording device that we employed last week whilst we were stravaiging. Back soon....
Pussycat indeed
Excuse me Your felineship but I was hoping for a tailcock. My summer cloak was looking forward to being hidden, hoping to meet some old friends.
Hello Daisy, I trust you are well?
Good evening, miss Daisy - my apologies, I thought you had a flagon from the last tray - your Scorchio, miss.

Your summer cloak will be most welcome in the new chilled cranny - there's a lonely shawl in there at the moment...
Hello, nungate. Fairly chipper thanks, was meant to bloom in warm climes but very worried about my garden. Difficult carrying full watering cans down stairs to my garden. Water butt virtually empty.
You keeping well?
Not bad, Daisy, I've pulled the same muscle that I'd damaged weeks ago the other day coming in from the garden, just as the original pull was getting better, somehow I can't get used to leading off on my right foot!
Are you in an area where there's a hosepipe ban? I use a hose to water the planters here, no bans in Scotland so far
Good even all - I have been down at the Eds and Mods selling my artistic wares and landed another commissiun - hic - well at least it pays for the Madeira and vino bill, (no thanks to NoM, bless her this evening)

So,

2 empty bottles but may be dregs there of some Chilean Cabernet wonder.
2 old drawing pens
1 sketch pad, half used and wind whipped
One rubber (I can see the competition for this)
One Engelbert 1966 pair of knicks.
One pencil grinder........
One poem half written
Poem for today, written earlier - hic:

The Mad Over 50s Castle.

I live in a beautiful castle,
With towers and battlements so sibton fair;
And many a Zac’s banner, with Lie-in King devices,
Floats in the outer air.
The walls are of gness silver;
The towers are of owdhamer gold;
And the lights that sloopy-stream from the windows
Noble Mad Over 50s scenes unfold.
Ah! could you but enter our castle
With its pomp of regal Lady sheen,
You would say that it far surpasses
The palace of Lady A always a-gleam.
Could you but enter as I do,
And pace like Lady J through the vaulted hall,
And mark the stately Lion Closets,
And the pictures of Alexandered on the flaky wall;
With Mamya’s tailcocks and nibbles about the place,
That send their Big Mac aroma ever afar,
The guests with plates, chaste with softened splendour
Like the light of a distant Mrs Over star!
And where is this wonderful castle,
With its rich BigJack emblazonings,
Whose pomp so far surpasses
The homes of the greatest kings?
Come out with me at evening-time
And lie in the dewey moat-grass,
And lower your eyes in the supersuezy ether blue,
And you will see the fattened croc pass.
There! can you not see Alba on the battlements;
And the excelsior turrets stately and AYG high,
Whose lofty hc summits are tipped with Polar clouds,
And lost in the arching sunnydave sky?
Dear Over 50s friend, you are only dreaming,
Lady A’s castle so stately and fair
Is only a wonderful lardhelmet structure,--
As if a castle in the air.
Perchance you are right. I know not
If an Ankou phantom it may be;
But yet, in my inmost gness-like heart, I feel
That it lives, and lives for me.
For when Flumpy clouds and darkness are round me,
And my heart is heavy with DaisyNonna care,
I steal me away from the noisy crowd,
To dwell in the AB castle fair.
There are Buttles to do our bidding;
There are Paid Valets to heed our call;
And we, with a TTFN air of pride,
May pace through the vaulted Slinky hall.
And I envy not the Nungate’s
With Llamas under her sway;
For am I not, in my own right,
A Bard as chameleonesque and crazy as they?
What matter, then, if to others, trolls and all
Our castle a phantom may or may not be,
Since I feel, in the depths of my own heart,
That it is not so to me?
Good evening, sir - one flagon, half-filled...
The other half, sir - marvellous!

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