Mad over Fifties Club

[ladyalex]

The Club is now Open

Welcome , one and all to the Mad over Fifties Club where Members are expected, nay encouraged, to be Mad and Over Fifty.
Anyone seeking membership who has not yet attained fifty earth years will be considered eligible by virtue of their wishing to join such a club.
Anyone not mad and seeking membership should reconsider.

The night is still nippy for the time of year, so gather close to the fire and let the festivities commence.


The topic for tonight's Speaker is 'Weather...whither ?' .
He has not yet arrived, but we have received a message from him saying that as soon as he can find his waders, oilskins and umbrella, he will be along directly.

Prizes so far for tonight's raffle include:

A bottle of sun screen (unused)
A sun hat (new)
2 yards of deckchair canvas (pristine)

[tenrec]

Oooh DT!

[tonyav]

LOL.

[Lie-in King]

M'lady! I'm shocked, really...

Tailcocks, tailcocks! Get 'em while the whiff of scandal is in the air, they're lovely!

[DTCwordfan]

Thanks to the sheep-and-latex-sheath that man has made!
Our Castle sex remains safer, quite natural;
But human things can never fade;
Condoms are messy, costly and mural.

Through circumcision, AB man removes his ‘fore-skin’!
the condom ensures no touch to the female genitals!
And machines vend condoms to kith and kin;
As though it can protect all AB guys and Castle gals.

Is not the condom unphysiological?
And our Croc and Llama blow it up like a balloon!
Who cares if it gives way, illogical?
The Bard says ’tis not a bane; it is a "boom".

Boom Boom

[ladyalex]

You started it, sire....and I've noticed that there has been quite a turnaround of chambermaids lately....

[pauljennifer]

what exactly happens here

[ladyalex]

Calm down DT....they're only condoms....

[ladyalex]

Hello, pauljennifer. Welcome.
Good question.

[DTCwordfan]

welcum to the mad house pauljennifer.....

[tonyav]

Yes I have turned a few of the chambermaids, your Ladyship.

[DTCwordfan]

Sorry my Lady, I thought we were talking flunkies, I shall stick to the limericks and the Monsoons....

[tenrec]

Welcome to you PJ.

[ladyalex]

I have no wish to know that, tonyav....kindly resume plumbing.

[Maydup]

May I suggest we start on the buffet? All these tailcocks on empty stomachs are making me blush.

[Lie-in King]

Good evening, pauljennifer - perhaps a flagon of Monsoon while you consider the wisdom of your choice to join us?

[ladyalex]

By all means start on the buffet, Maidup...and everyone else.

We need our health and strength to contend with what life throws at us.

[Mamyalynne]

Please do, I hope Hodgson's have lived up to their reputation.

[ladyalex]

What , exactly, is their reputation, Mamya ?

[Mamyalynne]

Have a nibble and you tell me.

[lady-janine]

Hello everyone. managed to wade here at last. only got blown off the cliff twice. oh they rocks do not make an easy landing. i moored the painter and belayed the oars. wrapped the boa and am ready to great you all mwah, mwah, mwah.

for the ruffle this evening i can proffer:
almost empty tin of blackboard paint,
one very short plank with only a few woodworm holes,
2 slightly burnt sausages,
three bottles containing cow p**s smell (gives the real smell of the countryside).

now is it time for me to have a little drinkie or a bucket of tailcock?

pretty please.