THE CASTLE ROYAL REGATTA
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Once again the sun is scorching.
It’s the first week in July.
Lie-in-King, have you seen my blazer?
Where on earth’s my Castle tie?
Dear old Castle Moat, dear Regatta,
Thronging AB crowds o’er Croc’s Bridge.
Hats you’ve never seen the like of.
Champagne cooling in the kitchen’fridge.
We’ll go in the Ladies J and A Enclosure,
What a MOFC crowd and what a horrendous din!
The bowler-ed stewards measure gness’s hem-line.
She is out, but we are in!
Now here comes my Poets’ College.
What a splendid looking Sloopy crew!
Did you know that Tony was stroke once?
He ended up in A&E, rather ‘Black and Blue’!
Now it’s time to take our Mamya’s buffet
In Lady A’s hallowed hall.
Dear old PolarBear’s got our tickets.
There he is. Give him the wolf63 call.
Hello Alba! Hello Petal!
Gosh, that is a TTFN stunning dress!
Quick, Stand still! Here comes Sunny Dave.
We may feature in Owdhamer’s racing press!
Tilly, Vodka, Maid up, You’ve managed to arrive
Looking fabulous and so flumpy pretty too.
Though your thongs are showing through, you’ll survive,
However, the ground isn’t good for Jimmy Choos.
Chicken, BigMacs, Moët et Chandon
Then a glass of tailcock or perhaps a Nungate port.
Hardly know some of these AB fellows.
Do you think Mrs O’s quite our sort?
Once again the raffle’s started.
How Maggiebee strains to win the prize!
Yes, these tenrec-chairs are quite comfy.
Maybe DaisyNonna will close her eyes.
Teatime already? How the hours are flying!
We must think of going soon.
But I’ll not forget the wet sunshine
Of this lovely excelsior of an afternoon.
Time to go. Ah, here’s the rusty Volvo
LIK, would you like to drive?
What a queue! Where do they all go?
Straight down the M twenty-five!