Oh my.....

[kat2206]

Well, I have been out for many long walks since my last post. I have given myself a talking to. At the end of day, I'm a 44 year old professional woman, solvent, relatively good looking (ish), I have my health etc...

Yes, I still the man, however, I think I lost "me" as I was trying too hard to be the perfect farmers wife/partner and lost who I was and for that he didn't like who I became, it didn't help that his friends resented me and he is very easily influenced by them, unfortunately, even at the age of 48! If that's what he wants though then that's fine by me as I'm going to get myself out there again rather than sitting in on my own feeling sorry for myself, wheres that going to get me other than ending up being a bitter, lonely person.

I have taken up skiing lessons, my 3rd one is tonight and really looking forward to it. I'm going to keep going into the local where he and his mates drink and I'm going to be the happy person that I was when he met me.

He has told me that he does still love me but not enough, which is fine. He has talked about us maybe seeing each other again and taking things slowly, we did rush into the relationship head on, which we both agree was the wrong thing to do. However, I will not hold my breath and wait for him as it may never happen and I need to move on in my life.

So, what I have done is registered on Solo Holidays, I enjoy meeting new people and travelling and wouldn't, at the moment feel confident to go on holiday on my own. This site is for single people over the age of 40 who enjoy the same things as I do.... So watch this space....

When he sees me getting on and enjoying life, maybe he will realise that he lost the best thing that ever happened to him.. Then and only then, we will have to talk about the future and whether I want him in MY life!

I do want to thank you all though for your kind words in my last post, I really did hit the bottom of the barrel, emotionally.

[Hopkirk]

That's the spirit Kat.

Go girl.

[snags]

''I'm a 44 year old professional woman, solvent, relatively good looking (ish), I have my health''

GSOH and likes going to the cinema and long country walks?

[kat2206]

LOL Snags, that didn't mean to sound like a dating advert.... However, now you have pointed it out, that does sound quite funny really..

[rockyracoon]

Excellent Kat, you go for it xx

[lady-janine]

good for you girl. gor for it. you've got a lot on your side. sounds like you've got more than him.

all best wishes whatever you decide to do.

[albaqwerty]

I'm glad you've found your inner strength. It did get kicked hard, hope everything works out really well for you xx :-)

[flump1]

Well done Kat, life is for the living ( to coin a phrase from Harold Robbins ) , As difficult as it is to walk away sometimes it is the best thing to do . Take care of yourself while you enjoy your new life .

[mccfluff]

don't do all this to make him see what he is missing and come rushing back to you.

do it for yourself and move on

[jno]

wot fluff says

[maggiebee]

He may indeed realise what he has lost, but by that time you will be so far ahead you won't for one minute want to go back. Go for it girl.

[excelsior-1]

Well done kat.
Get on and enjoy your life .. We are all rooting for you

[Psybbo]

Wonderful attitude, go girl!

[kat2206]

Thanks guys... I'm just about to go out to the local with a friend for lunch, let's see how they react to me going in eh? Haha x.

[gness]

Panache!!! I love it! You're going to have fun. Like Fluff says....for you. x

[DTCwordfan]

Enjoy your lunch and, if you get any grief, then tell them to piss off or to look up their own rear ends. I am sure you will find an appropriate farming analogy.

[MustangLady]

Good for you Kat. Go for it. Similar circumstances to me 4 years ago. I'm still on my own but believe it or not I am really happy. Unfortunately my ex decided he was better off on his own but I see him around now and he is miserable, whereas my life as turned around for the better. I have a new place of my own, brilliant social life and get to go abroad often meeting up with my friends I've made overseas. I found I didn't need anyone else in my life to make my life complete, I already have it all.

[Dee Sa]

well done kat you really have picked yourself up, dont fall for the "seeing each other again and taking things slowly" sorry but in a man's world that means " I still fancy you how about it on my terms when I want" apologies blokes !

[kat2206]

Hi Dee, thing is your comments are all too true, at the moment, I know I would still agree to that if he offered it. Maybe, in time I may not love him as much as I do right now, doubtful though, he is my "it" he is the one for me, I am totally still in love with him. Having said that we are, the moment, still living under the same roof so it is hard to think rationally some times and once I have moved out and starting to enjoy life again then maybe I won't want him in my life, who knows.

I have had a message from one of my friends and it looks like I'm going out on a girlie night out tomorrow so really looking forward to that.

The lunch at the local was uneventful, the landlord being his usual nonchalant self, I really though he would be snide or rude to me as he is also good friends with my OH.... Ex OH! Lol

[kat2206]

P.s I am feeling so sick to my stomach about this meeting with my mortgage advisor at 4pm.... I want this so bad! Maybe if I wish too hard it won't come to fruition though..... Ooooooh the turmoil.