I Was Up

marval | 21:32 Wed 09th May 2018 | Jokes

6 Answers

I was up before a four foot six inch judge last week. I thought to myself, “Little things are sent to try us.”

I am making a fortune in my job as a door-to-door salesman of “NO DOOR-TO-DOOR SALESMEN” signs.

My Mother-in-law stopped for a couple of hours yesterday. She still hasn’t worked out who has the right of way at a roundabout.

When the wife requested a ‘celebrity fragrance’ for her birthday I don’t think ‘cillit bang by Barry Scott’ was what she had in mind.

I don’t know what animal the Sham is. But its poo has done wonders for my hair.

My partner is upset because I threw some potatoes and a tin of beans at him. I think he’s making a meal of it.

I brought a rocking chair yesterday, it plays guitar and everything.

I have got a new job, fitting parts to sinks. To be honest, I’m not very good at it, but I I will keep plugging away.

I got offered a position by the job centre today but had to turn it down. I don’t have any hairdressing experience and they were looking for a temp to perm.

I rang up the AA, and said ‘can I have an itemised bill?’ He said ‘we don’t do breakdowns.’