Relationship advice needed

[XDivaX]

Hiya. I was on this site a month or so ago, confusing myself again and its doing my head in so figured I'd post and hopefully get a few suggestions to help me out a bit. Last time I posted I was on a break with my bf at the time and had met a new guy who was showing interest but never went out of his way to text me. Ever since then my now ex bf and I are still casual but I've been seeing this new bloke more and more. Alot of the time he'll suggest going out. I'll wake up in the morning to a few missed calls from the night before so thats really cool and his said to me that he likes me. I'm just slightly concerned that his more after the intimacy (e.g. sex) then he is me. Whenever we met we end up doing stuff and 2 nights ago he invited me around and all night was lovely and touchy feely and now 2 days on we have spoken quite a bit but his not being so flirty. We were originally suppose to be doing something tomorrow evening which he sounds quite up for but he won't commit to definatly meeting up so I'm guessing his waiting to see whether he gets an offer for a night out with his mates. Am I being to paranoid or does it sound like his only after one thing? Confused! Help! x

[~posy-jo~]

no wonder you are confused!! if he can't decide if he wants to be with you or his mates and is just leaving you hanging just waiting for him to decide what he wants to do i'd tell him you are not interested anymore. if he does genuinly like you and isn't just after sex he should then say something. you say you and your ex are casual do you want something to happen there? if you are not sure i would take a clean break from both of them and decide what you want and what is best for you not have your decisions made for you by some bloke that you are not even sure is interested

[girl_lesbian]

I agree with posy-jo that you need to make a clean break from your ex.

I was in a similar situation with my ex, we were together over 6 years. The last year was very on off on off, but I couldn't make that final break. Eventually I just spoke to her (in person, thats for the best) and made it 100% clear that everything (inc sex) was finished. That really helped me move on and sort myself out.

As for the new guy. I think he genuinely likes you, he wouldn't have bothered doing the touchy feely stuff if all he wanted was sex. rom my experience (yes I do have some ;-) ) If a guy is just after sex, thats all he makes the effot to get!

But don't wait around for him to make up his mind about whether he is going to see you tomorrow night. As you may end up with nothing to do. My advice is to make plans with your own mates tomorrow and show him that your not a complete push over and if he wants to see you, then he has to mk some of the effort/ commitmnet too!

Hope that helps x x x good luck x x x

[girl_lesbian]

PS sorry about the rubbish spelling!

[XDivaX]

Thanks for the replies. I think your both right about making a clean break from my ex. He goes to America for a year in August and I'm gonna miss him so much but I suppose in a way its a poisitve and if we r really meant to be then we will get back together when he comes home. Its just hard right now cuz his such a kind, lovely guy but I'm more into the new bloke. Spoke to him earlier (new guy that is) and he said about going over his tonight but I was out with other friends so couldnt :( He said he will text me this evening but hasn't :( paranoid now! Lol! I'm awful! Just hoping he wants 2 do something tomorrow and gives me a call in the morning. Fingers crossed! x