There's More

[Rondy]

So I went for a job as a lumberjack..
Fella asks: "Have you any experience?"
I replied: "Have you heard of the Sahara Forest?"
He said: "You mean Sahara Desert!"
I said: "Yeah, well that's what they call it now!"

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Due to several complaints to trading standards the government has banned Father Christmas shaped bedside clocks.
A spokesperson said although this is an unusual step to take it means that there is no Claus for alarms.

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My mate gave up his job to pursue his dreams in archaeology.
His career is now in ruins.

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I've got that presenter chap Eamonn in the back of my car.
I'm driving Holmes for Christmas.

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I know it looks bad, but I always lick my knife.
Most other surgeons don’t.

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In Belarus at Christmas, they eat Minsk Pies.

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Just started reading a good book..

The history of Chinese food by Chris P. Duck.

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I'm so old, I can remember when the Dead sea was only sick.
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I recently heard about a cheesemakers who covered his wife in paint TWICE !
Yes, that's correct
He Double Gloucester.

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My wife is SO clever. When I called her using my mate's mobile, she answered saying "Hello, you sexy love machine" - see she knew it was me!

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My wife laughed when I said I would build a car made from spaghetti.
Should have seen her face when I drove pasta!

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Just been to a job interview where they asked if I could perform under pressure. Told them no, but I can do a cracking Bohemian Rhapsody.

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[windywillow]

It's the way you tell 'em. :0)

[Patsy33]

😆

[juliecarlstan]

super