I thought tthis was so funny that i had to share with my fellow scottish men and women! Subject: Burns
TAE A FART
Oh whit a sleekit horrible beastie Lurks in yer belly efter the feastie Jist as ye sit doon among yer kin There sterts tae stir an enormous win' The neeps 'n' tatties 'n' mushy peas Stert workin' like a gentle breeze But soon the puddin' wi' the sauncie face Will hae ye blawin' a' ower the place Nae maiter whit the hell ye dae A'bodys gonnae hiv tae pay Even if ye try tae stifle It's like a bullet oot a rifle Hawd yer bum ticht tae the chair Tae try an' stop the leakin' air Shify yersel fae cheek tae cheek Prae tae God it disnae reek But aw yer efforts go assunder Oot it comes like a clap o' thunder Ricochets aroon the room Michty me a sonic boom God almichty it fairly reeks Hope a huvnae s**t ma breeks Tae the bog a better scurry Aw whit the hell, it's no ma worry A'body roon aboot me chokin Wan or twa are nearly bokin A'll feel better for a while Cannae help but raise a smile Wis him! A shout wi' accusin glower Alas too late, he's jist keeled ower Ye dirty ****** they shout and stare A dinnae feel welcome ony mair Where e'er ye be let yer wind gang free Sounds like jist the job fur me Whit a fuss at Rabbie's party Ower the sake o' wan wee farty