Family Dilemma

[hammerman]

15 year old daughter...lovely kid, very proud of her. Her grandparents paid to take her to Crete when she finishes school...last week june just for the week but in a 5* all inclusive hotel. She would be accompanied by my parents and my aunt.

No probs there...she loves her grandparents.

The problem is, her leaving school prom is smack in the middle of the holiday. She's waited 5 long years for this and all her friends are now talking about which limo they're hiring, what dress they're wearing etc etc and my daughter is devastated.

Do i risk the wrath of my parents....we'd pay them back every penny they lose or tell her to stop being a spoilt brat (which she's not by the way) and go on the holiday

Heeeeeelllllllllppppppp !!!!

[chrissa1]

There can always be another holiday, but only one Prom. Surely her grandparents would understand.

[ummmm]

I would tell her to go on the holiday. It's 7 days compared with 1 night. According to my kids, nieces and nephews the prom was over rated anyways.

[sherrardk]

The holiday was agreed to first. Proms are horribly expensive. Maybe she could go to the sixth form prom instead (if she is going into the sixth from and they have a rom).

[mccfluff]

are there no way the holiday dates can be changed?

[JonnyBoy12]

A holiday is a whole week, but, as the others say, a prom is very overrated. Go on holiday and make a week of it.

[pixie373]

Can the holiday be changed? It would be hard if she was resentful about missing the prom. It isn't really just the one night, it would be lots of excitement and build-up from her friends too. They will all be talking about it, which matters to a teenager.

[SeaJayPea]

I'd explain the whole situation to the grandparents and let them have an input into the decision. It may well be that they'd be able to change the dates and put it back a week or two without too much difficulty. It is, after all, a full six months away.

That said, I think school proms are one Americanism too far and put poorer parents at a major disadvantage. I've heard of kids arriving by helicopter for goodness' sake!

[Fusion5]

I'd have a word with your parents to see if they can change the dates. Proms are a big deal, especially to the girlies, perhaps not so much the boys.

If I was asked, I would not be offended and try and change the dates.

[tonyav]

Jaysus, talk about between a rock and a hard place, however the prom will only happen once in her life. Good luck with this, hammerman.

[Prudie]

As adults we probably see one night at a prom is over-rated and a serious drain on the purse but it's a big deal to some teenagers (certainly my daughter thought so). Have you talked it over with her and gauged how disappointed she'd really be? I'd probably give in to her wishes in this instance.

[wolf63]

I would give your daughter all the information and allow her to decide. But then I don't have human children.

[maggiebee]

Prom is a one off and all her friends will be there. She's waited 5 years for this and it will be talked about often in the future. Can the holiday be postponed? Your daughter certainly doesn't sound like a spoiled brat, just a young girl who wants to have fun with her friends. Bite the bullet!!

[Mamyalynne]

I see this as a put the kettle on and all sit round the table, chat it out calmly and see where it ends up.

[Sqad]

Simple.......she can't go to the "prom" as she is otherwise engaged, her grandparents have arranged her holiday.

[pixie373]

It's a reward, sqad. It can't be a reward if it's not what she wants to do.

[Sqad]

She must learn at this early age, that she cannot do just what she "wants" to do.

A reward?...a reward for what? The world doesn't owe her anything.

[joko]

you could pay the fee to transfer all the dates over

[Mamyalynne]

It isn't clear from hammerman's Op whether the Grandparents are aware of this dilemma as yet, I would certainly bring them in on the discussion.

One thing I would hate is to have an unhappy Grandchild with me for a week when she did not want to be there.

Do let us know how it pans out.

[pixie373]

I thought it was a reward for working hard / finishing school.

[Psybbo]

A prom happens once in her life, if grandparents love her as I'm sure they do, they'll understand and change the dates.