Wedding Gifts

[ellsbells]

My daughter is getting married and as they have their own home and have been together for sometime they don't need gifts as such. They would like money towards their honeymoon and to go towards new carpets. Does anyone know a way of wording their invitations. They do not want to ask for money outright. Thanks

[badgerchops]

Wedding etiquette is: Wedding gifts of any kind should never be mentioned on an invitation or even sent with the invitation; to do so implies that a guest is required to give you a present. A wedding invitation should simply convey that you would like someone to be there at a very special occasion. You NEVER mention gifts/money in an invitation.

~ One good (and less-offensive) way is to let family and close friends know that the couples gift preferences is money. then *should guests ask* they can let them know. Most people ask if there is a wedding gift list nearer the time.

[badgerchops]

Got a better idea. Set up a holiday gift voucher service online for people to add into

http://www.turquoiseholidays.co.uk/honeymoon/g ifts

They can contribute and its known that it is for their honeymoon

[june1977]

I'm going to a wedding in August and they sent the invite, a separate sheet with venue details and accommodation and also on the sheet it said "we already have our home so don't necessarily need any gifts but instead would ask those that would like to give us a gift to contribute towards our honeymoon" and they included the details of the travel company and gave us a reference number so you can send off a cheque direct to the travel company or pay via card. Quite good I think.

[joannie10]

i am going to two weddings this year and both are people who are not long into new homes and saying 'we have everything we need'. I thought both were going to do the honeymoon voucher/money thing and i have to say i was not unhappy with that as would rather give something of use. Anyway the first person included a poem with invite stating that they have everything they need etc etc and just to give them money for honeymoon here at the bank details. I have to say I was shocked and thought that was really rude. The second couple have included a note in their invite stating they have everything they need and that if you really feel the need to mark the occasion with a gift then donate to cancer research and again have given account details. I think this is a much nicer idea - a friend and I have donated part of what we were going to spend to the cancer reseach and also bought the couple a meal voucher and I know they have already received gift of money from several people. They had thought about the honeymoon idea but decided they had booked the honeymoon based on what they could afford. I did give money to the other couple but felt my attitude about it was not so good because I was not happy that they had 'asked' for it. I totally agree with what badgerchops has said.

[Cheekystar]

" friends of mine were in the same situation and they included a poem in their invites - it was quite witty saying we have everything we'd like you to come... if you want to get us a gift we would appreicate money - I thought it was really sweet. ANother friend wrote a serious note saying the same thing which I felt came across as rude -

[northernsole]

My husband and I got married last year and found ourselves in the same situation, not only because we had everything for house etc but because we're both very much of the nature that if there's something we want we go buy it.

We had long debates with family (paticulary my mother-in-law) as she felt it was offensive to ask for money. So we simply didn't mention anything on invites.

As the time approached most guests asked my mum for gift ideas and she simply told people we had everything, however we were hoping to do some home improvements etc. All our wedding gifts were monetary in the end apart from one grotesque set of bath towels and some tatty ornament that still had the pound shop sticker on the bottom (suprisngly both from my mother-in-laws friends) now I'm not an ungrateful person but it cost �180 per head to have those people at my wedding.

So I would simply leave invites blank and make no mention of gifts anyone that cares enough will ask nearer the time.

[sophie_1003]

i think many people expect to be told what gifts they should give, it lessens stress as they wont have to think of something themselves! a note such as "We haven't any particular need for traditional wedding gifts so if you did want to get us anything money would be appreciated!" If they are going abroad for their honey moon they could say "...money in (eg) Euros..."