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Favourite Joke.

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Jemisa | 09:45 Wed 11th May 2011 | Jokes
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Has anyone got a favourits joke? how about sharing it.?
Barer in mind the ED has his big black marker at the ready

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One of my favourites (I'll clean it up a bit too).

Did you hear about the Magician who got bored of pulling a Rabbit out of a Hat? He pulled a Hair out of his bumhole instead.
Any really silly ones like the 'How do you get 4 elephants in a mini?' jokes
How do you know when elephants have been making love in your kitchen?
No idea, how do you know if elephants have been making love in your kitchen?
All the bin bags are missing.
what's got 400 balls, and fcuk's rabbits?

a shotgun
I like one-liners, such as Bob Hope used. Here's one that still makes me smile:
I'm going to a wedding on Friday. I'm to be best man. At least, that's my opinion.
What's the difference between a fireman and a soldier.........................

You can't dip a fireman in your egg.
Ewww, didn't like that one! I like one-liners as well, Tim Vine's are very good.
What's white and swings through trees?

A meringue utan. :-(
What's the difference between a bison and a buffalo? You can't wash your hands in a buffalo!
That's the sort I like salla!
Eddie wanted desperately to have sex with this really cute, really hot girl in his office... But she was dating someone else.

One day Eddie got so frustrated that he went to her and said, 'I'll give you £100 if you let me have sex with you...'The girl looked at him, and then said, 'NO WAY!'

Eddie said, 'I'll be real fast. I'll throw the money on the floor, you bend down and I'll finish by the time you've picked it up.'

She thought for a moment and said that she would consult with her boyfriend.... So she called him and explained the situation.

Her boyfriend says, 'Ask him for £200, and pick up the money really fast. He won't even be able to get his pants down.' She agreed and accepts the proposal.

Over half an hour goes by and the boyfriend is still waiting for his girlfriend's call. Finally, after 45 minutes the boyfriend calls and asks 'What happened...?'

Still breathing hard, she managed to reply, 'The ba$*** has the £200 in 50ps!'
Silly, but you gotta titter.
I normally like ruder jokes than that, but this one always sticks in my mind.
Two flies sat on a dog turd, one f@rts.
the other one looks at him and says 'do you mind i'm eating'
Iol ark
I think there's a similar one about Tarzan, possibly something about marzipan in punch line; can't remember it though!
What's got six legs, fifteen balls, and can kill you if it falls out of a tree?
-- answer removed --
A snooker table

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