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Evening Harold
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Just found a really funny spoof newspaper called "Evening Harold". Can be found at eveningharold.com. This article tickled my fancy:
EDL clarify that “England for the English” includes their Asian mail-order brides
In an embarrassing climb down, the English Defence League announced that their “England for the English” policy will be modified to include members’ mail-order brides from Asia and Eastern Europe.
“We will still seek to vigorously protect our airports and seaports from an influx of Asians and Eastern Europeans, but we will turn a blind eye to the post” said EDL spokesmen Bernard Grout.
“I’m aware some people might think we have done a 360% turn and are therefore hypnotists” said Grout. “But our members have always been sex-starved loners first, and racists second.”
EDL member Gavin Mitchell, a 56 year old unemployed lorry driver from Swindon, welcomed the change saying that his Thai fiancé Riki was probably very excited about joining the EDL, but he couldn’t be completely sure as she spoke no English.
“Riki is a wonderful girl and is as English as they come despite not speaking English. She has taught me a little Thai though – apparently the Thai word for ‘Gavin’ is ‘Dumfuk’.”
Other EDL members said the movements’ numbers could swell after the change.
“I’ve had four Filipino wives who coincidently all stayed with me for exactly the three years required for permanent residency” said larger than life warehouseman Bob Clarke. “I know all four will re-join me in the fight to stop England being overrun by foreigners taking the mickey.”
As well as their mail-order brides, the EDL clarified that “England for the English” also included Indian proprietors of reasonably priced curry houses, Chinese doctors specialising in hair loss, and anyone selling cheap Viagra.
EDL clarify that “England for the English” includes their Asian mail-order brides
In an embarrassing climb down, the English Defence League announced that their “England for the English” policy will be modified to include members’ mail-order brides from Asia and Eastern Europe.
“We will still seek to vigorously protect our airports and seaports from an influx of Asians and Eastern Europeans, but we will turn a blind eye to the post” said EDL spokesmen Bernard Grout.
“I’m aware some people might think we have done a 360% turn and are therefore hypnotists” said Grout. “But our members have always been sex-starved loners first, and racists second.”
EDL member Gavin Mitchell, a 56 year old unemployed lorry driver from Swindon, welcomed the change saying that his Thai fiancé Riki was probably very excited about joining the EDL, but he couldn’t be completely sure as she spoke no English.
“Riki is a wonderful girl and is as English as they come despite not speaking English. She has taught me a little Thai though – apparently the Thai word for ‘Gavin’ is ‘Dumfuk’.”
Other EDL members said the movements’ numbers could swell after the change.
“I’ve had four Filipino wives who coincidently all stayed with me for exactly the three years required for permanent residency” said larger than life warehouseman Bob Clarke. “I know all four will re-join me in the fight to stop England being overrun by foreigners taking the mickey.”
As well as their mail-order brides, the EDL clarified that “England for the English” also included Indian proprietors of reasonably priced curry houses, Chinese doctors specialising in hair loss, and anyone selling cheap Viagra.
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