favourite joke's

[rugeleyboy]

come on ABers,i am doing a poll on the AB's favourite jokes!!

[sir.prize]

Two tourists were driving through Wales. As they were approaching Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch they started arguing about the pronunciation of the town's name.
They argued back and forth until they stopped for lunch. As they stood at the counter, one tourist asked the blonde employee, "Before we order, could you please settle an argument for us? Would you please pronounce where we are... very slowly?"

The girl leaned over the counter and said, "Burrrrrrrr, Gerrrrrrr, Kiiiiing."

[sir.prize]

Not strictly in the Joke Category - but a wonderful piece of video by the respectable national organisation - The Vegetarian Society. if you have speakers - switch them on for full effect
www.rudefood.org

definitely Food for Thought!

[Belgian]

last week I walked through a subiurb outside Edinburgh and on one of the flat buildings was a banner. on the banner was written"Happy 30st birthday Granny"

[sholay]

A dog goes into the bank for a loan. He goes up to the teller, Patrick Black, and asks to borrow some money. Mr Black says that he cannot lend money to a dog. The dog replies that since he's Mick Jagger's son, he should be able to get the cash. The teller doesn't accept this, and asks if he has any collateral for the money. The dog brings out a small porcelain ornament, and informs Mr Black that the borrowing can be secured against that. The teller isn't too impressed but goes to speak to the bank manager anyway.

He tells the manager the tale and shows him the ornament - the teller says he doesn't know what this all means. The manager replies -

"It's a nik-nak Paddy Black, give the dog a loan. His ols man's a Rolling Stone!"

[smudge]

Loved that veg link sir.prize - brilliant!

Had a giggle reading all these jokes, back to the dining room!

[Dizzieblonde]

A woman is walking past a pet shop when she sees a sign in the window "Clit-licking frog for sale. Enquire within."

She goes in and goes to the man behind the counter and says "I'm here about the clit-licking frog please"

"Bonjour madame!"

[sir.prize]

Anyone seen the new film 'Ketchup Effect'?

If not here is a trailer . . .TUT! TUT!

www.ketchupeffect.com/teaser.htm

[Paul22118]

Paddy sidles up to a pretty girl in the dance hall.

P - Can I take you home after the dance darlin?

G - Sorry I'd rather not.

P - Aw c'mon you enjoy it.

G - Can't, you know I'm time of, you know.

P - What d'yer mean?

Pretty girl is by now ****** off and says 'If you must know I'm on my menstrual cycle OK'

To which Paddy says 'Ah no problem, I'll folla yer home on me Honda 50..............

boom boom

[funkymoped]

tampax replaced the string on their tampons with tinsel, but it was only for the christmas period.

[jules1968]

A man bought some olympic comdoms through a mail order magazine. He was very pleased when they arrived and he opened them up. There was a bronze one, a silver one and a gold one. Later on that evening, he was preparing for a night of passion with his wife. He said to her "my darling, tonight i think i'll try out the gold comdom" to which his wife replied "why don't you wear the siver one and come 2nd for a bloody change!!!"

[Postdog]

Went to the zoo the other day. It wasn't much of a zoo, it only had one dog. It was Shi - tzu

[campbellking]

I am a fairy.

My name is Nuff

Fairy Nuff.

[rugeleyboy]

these are good ....keep em coming!

[wallis1007]

Two parrots sat on a perch, one says to the other "can you smell fish"

[jules1968]

A couple decide to tighten their belts, she says, "you are spending 16 quid a week on 24 cans of beer. Its got to stop!"

A week later he says to her," hang on, you're spending 28 quid a week on make-up!"

"Yes," she says," thats to make me look lovely and attractive!"

He replies "thats' what the f*****g beers for!!"

[rocascool]

the judge says to Mickey Mouse "you can't divorce Minnie for having buck teeth"

"I didn't say she had buck teeth" replies Mickey, I said "she is f*****g Goofy

sorry about the language

[Mudman]

What's Orange and sounds like a Parrot?

A Carrot!.. arf,arf.

[curiosity]

A man was invited for dinner at a friend's house. Every time the host needed something, he preceded his request to his wife by calling her "My Love", "Darling", "Sweetheart", etc., etc.
His friend looked at him and said, "That's really nice after all of these years you've been married to keep saying those little pet names."
The host said, "Well, honestly, I've forgotten her name."

[pidgon]

What does Mr Kipling do in his spare time?

Fills tarts with cream!

[Madmonks]

a