Gordon Brown

[X111]

Gordon Brown turned up as a spectator to watch his wife giving birth yesterday. Am I alone in thinking this to be a disgusting thing for a man to do?

[geofbob]

Hopefully. (Surely he was more of a participant than a spectator.)

[Gef]

Well said everyone in reply. I was at the birth of all 3 of my children and although my wife was doing all the hard work I certainly did not feel like a spectator.

[Ember]

Anyone who saw the anguish of this couple two years ago when they lost their little girl Jennifer Jane born prematurely must surely rejoice at the happiness on Gordon Browns face when talking about the birth of his son. Nadia when its your turn ( I presume you are female) to share the miracle of birth with your loved one is wonderful.

[Cetti]

Nadia, yes you seem to be alone. It's hard for me, or anyone to believe you are serious. I've just watched him on the 9pm news and his face radiated such joy I thought he would burst - it's impossible not to be caught up in that joy. Disgusting no, wonderful - YES!!!

[coggles]

Just in case this was supposed to be political, I am not a supporter of the labour party (unfortunately, there does not appear to be any viable alternative either any more, but that's a different story). Despite this, I wish the Browns a happy life with their newborn. As for your husband being at the birth, I had to have both of our children by emergency cesaerian and I was so glad my husband was there to help me through it. He held our babies first but I still feel it was the most amazing experience of my life.

[gazzawazza]

I was present at the birth of all three of our daughters and wouldn't have missed it for the world. It wasn't "being a spectator," it was being part of the most amazing experiences of our lives.

I was 24 when our first was born and prior to this hadn't cried for many years, yet when the midwife told us we had a baby girl I was immediately reduced to tears. Not tiny little girlie tears, but GREAT BIG MANLY tears in floods and flood and floods, completely unexpected and completely uncontrollable, and I don't care who knows it!

My wife had never seen me cry before that day, and soon she and the midwives present had tears in their eyes!

It was more than 20 minutes before I finally managed to "get a grip" of myself but I just didn't care. I can honestly say it was the most emotional experience of my life which I still can't adequately describe. Although I didn't cry at the other two births they were still as special as the first. You are entitled to your own opinion, but why would anyone think this is a disgusting thing to do?

[X111]

Thank you so very much for your replies I have been close to tears. I am 20, F, at Uni and have yet to encounter a close relationship. I am going through a time when I can see no purpose in anything and no good in anyone or any action at all, but it will pass eventually I suppose. I am ashamed that I posed the question and wish that I had not. Best wishes to everyone. Goodbye.

[Gef]

Nadia, thank you for reading the replies and posting a response. I know that this is not a discussion group but I will say something. 30 years ago I was at Uni and despite having lots of good friends there was the odd occasion when I wondered about the point of it all and where it would all lead. Now, happily married for 28 years with three children aged 20+ it has all worked out. Just remember, there are lots of people out there willing to help but you have to ask. Good luck.

[darth vader]

Agree with Gef, we all went through it, and you'll soon come through it. Good luck with Uni.....

[Cetti]

Dear Nadia - Please don't feel ashamed - your honesty is so refreshing is a hard cynical society. Be glad you had the courage to post your thoughts, and just look at the positive responses they created. Things will change - promise :-)

[coggles]

Just another 'good luck' and no apology needed. Going into the Big Wide World can be very daunting and can make you feel isolated, but you are not alone. All through college years and a career that was a struggle sometimes, my Dad used to say, 'Try your best - you can't try any harder than your best' and it really did help. Good Luck again.

[andy hughes]

Hi Nadia - I am truly heartened by the way this thread has developed, and your response to it. I am sure you will find a special someone, and if you are blessed with childremn, I hope you will want your partner there for what is a magical shared experience. My oldest daughters are from my wife's first marriage, but i saw our youngest born fourteen years ago, and I wouldn't have missed it for the world. The miracle of life is a wonder to behold - so much more when eachof you has played a part in its creation. If you feel a bit fed up - come to the AB - we'll cheer you up!

[sft42]

A bigger outpouring of sentimental tosh and pap I haven't heard for a long time....It's merely a biological function (and not a very good one at that come to think of all thepain it's supposed to cause) and isn't anything anymore amazing or wonderful than going to sleep and waking up in the morning...as for the actual part of the husband being at the birth...it doesn't matter much one way or the other really does it he's purely a spectator or passenger as you say and along for the ride...it only matters that he was actually present nine months earlier.

[X111]

I had not intended to return to Answerbank, but could not resist a little peek to see if my wretched question had disappeared. I am overwhelmed to find further inspiring messages and astonished at your good wishes to me. I do not deserve your good wishes, I really don't. Much love to all. Nad.

[Sixtusthe5th]

Its a wise child that knows its own father, sft42, its a wise child.

[AnnaBa]

Whilst he could have expressed it more elegantly, sft42 does have a point. Childbirth is ordinary, and the vast majority of births occur without the father present. This was confirmed at our local club, where about 30 people debated it and were unanimous, men and women, in thinking that the father should not be present. Turning to Gordon Brown, he is a man heading towards 60 married to a woman that he could have fathered. And, for heavens sake, he is Chancellor of the Exchequer of the UK, a high and exalted position and his mind, surely, should have been totally upon higher things, such as EU Directive SO/8003/5681/SW/Amended March 2003 Banning Pigs with Curly Tails from Certain Specified Streets in Swindon rather than peeking at young Sarah giving birth. Disgusting? All in all I think you got it right, Nadia.

[andy hughes]

Hi AnnaBa - I have to respond to your observation that childbirth is 'ordinary' - it is not, it is commonplace, which is not the same thing at all. Yes, millions of babies are born every day, but when it is YOUR baby being born, and you have waited for nearly ten months, watching it grow, with all your hopes and expectations (and fears!) and your baby arrives, it is a very special experience, and speaking personally, an experience I will only have once. As for Gordon Brown, regardless of his age, or his public position, at that time he was like a large number of us, a new dad, his experience all the more poignant given the tragedy the Browns suffered with their (yes that's their) pregnancy. So let's allow every father to enjoy the miracle of new life, regardless of age, occupation, ar anything else, and if we get a little sentimental, that's a sign of the powerful emotions that are brought into play.