School Children's Induced Out Pouring Of Grief

[dave50]

Whenever there is a tragedy that involves a school child dying in an accident or any tragic circumstances, there is always a reporter at their school saying that the other children are 'struggling' to come to terms with it or that the whole school is absolutely devastated and councillors are on hand to help and there are pictures of large groups of children in big groups hugging and weeping. How much of this mass grieving is induced by the media and how much is genuine? It seems that this unnecessary group weeping and grieving is becoming the norm these days. I remember when I was at school in the early seventies and someone I knew fairly well was killed in a road accident. There was no mass weeping and grieving, no need for counselling. It was the talk of the school for a couple of days yes but then most forgot about it and moved on. Not because we weren't bothered, it's just that kids in those days weren't whipped up into a frenzy. I am not saying it's not devastating for close family or friends, of course it is but I am left uneasy about all this hysteria among everyone who happens to be in the vicinity of some personal tragedy. Anyone agree?

[Sqad]

Totally agree with Dave and NJ.

Lazygun...there you go again pleading for "evidence", some aspects of life do not lend themselves to "evidence" that does not mean that anecdotal evidence should be ignored or discounted.
I have yet to see that counseling has anything to offer in advantages over the long term effects compared with the "stiff upper lip" approach.

I know that this is not a popular impression, but it is my anecdotal impression comparing two eras...the post WW2 era and the present day.

[trt]

"People should be free to grieve in their own way"

But do they have to do it in the public's view?

[chaptazbru]

If they want to, yes .....

[Sqad]

trt

\\\\\but do they have to do it in the public's view? \\\

LOL...yes trt it appears that they do.

[Mamyalynne]

Would it be in public so much if the TV cameras were not plonked outside the school gate? For example.

[ummmm]

Yes, trt, you never know when grief will hit you.

[2sp_]

I think mamya has a good point.

If the press didn't picture and film these outpourings of grief then they wouldn't be quite so "public".

Other than TV or the newspapers, how often have any of us witnessed this mass grieving?

[New Judge]

Yes I have at a local school. Not on the TV (or in the national press, as far as I know). Schoolboy (13) killed whilst trespassing on the railway. Hoards of flowers, posters and toys at the school gates. Children and parents gathered round the gates weeping, wailing and hugging. The school has over a thousand pupils and it is doubtful if more than 5% would recognise the boy, let alone know him. Absolutely ridiculous.

[Old_Geezer]

I recall when Princess Di was killed, we all just got on with... oh hang on a minute......

I think this country has started to embrace what used to be considered the continental/Latin displays of excess emotion rather than retain the dignity of a stiff upper lip, or whatever. Whatever you say about the latter maybe being too suppressed and unhealthy, for sure to go to the other extreme is just embarrassing for all normal folk. And I'm sure the media encourages it to get sensational coverage. After all, they have papers to fill and news slots to broadcast.

[Bazile]

//... The adults I know who encourage a more stoical approach .. //

Should the adults in the Newtown tragedy have encouraged a more stoical approach ?

[LazyGun]

Sqad - And there you go, along with others,asserting stuff as truth with only anecdotal or subjective experience to support it.I will continue to call for objective evidence as long as people post opinion as fact.

Anecdotal evidence is all very well if you wish to offer a personal opinion, but if you wish your opinion to carry any authority or credibility, it needs to be backed up by a lot more than personal experience or opinion, especially when making stereotypical comments about whole cultures....

[albaqwerty]

school-pal of the albas was killed 5 years ago, private grieving, no mass out-ry at school.

[ummmm]

Some people are just more teary than others.

[emmie]

i must admit i rather agree with you, but perhaps it's a sign of the times we live in. A school friend died suddenly, and we were told by the head what happened, though everyone was sad and upset, that passed after a day or two, life as they say goes on...

[ummmm]

I'm sure it quickly passes for everyone. It's just an initial reaction.

[2sp_]

3 years ago a young girl was killed by her mother and dumped in a ditch that runs round the back of my old office. It was appalling and I do have to say that I was very upset about the whole thing. I was pregnant with #1 daughter at the time, so that only added to the shock.

Some people did leave flowers near where the little girl was found. I've no idea if they knew her or not.

[Barmaid]

I'm slightly uneasy about this public huggy kissy grieving stuff. But I think it depends on the circumstances. A friend of mine has a son who was involved in a fatal coach crash abroad where a number of his friends died. Most of that year group were involved and consequently most were very traumatised. THAT is understandable.

Grieving for the loss of a friend is also understandable. However, the make shift shrines that grow up outside of schools with teddies and flower etc, I find a little mawkish. But again it depends on the circumstances - I can understand how the friends of a child abducted by a stranger and found dead some weeks later might be significantly more traumatised than a child killed in a tragic accident. The loss is still the same - its the circumstances that make it more tragic.

[modeller]

// I am still bemused by the weirdness following Princess Dianas death for example. // That was not grief ! It was disbelief that someone so young, so full of life, with so much to live for was suddenly killed. Had she been ill for some time or been older I doubt if there would have been such a response .

I taught for 20 odd years and I never saw any expressions of public grief as portrayed in the media, not even when several children were involved.