How Big Of An Age Difference Is Too Big?

[Ann321]

am 19 and he is 34 (I know big age difference!). He comes quiet often to the cafe where I work. We joke around like, I do with many of the customers. We started flirting a couple months ago, but still very small amount and I did not think too much about it. Until the other day, as he paid for his food he handed me his number. Part of me knows there is a huge age difference and to walk away now. The other part thinks I'm very mature for my age and he seems to be a little immature... can we meet somewhere in the middle mentally? What should I think of this? I'm not looking for you to make up my mind for me, but maybe just some kind advice. Thanks!

[murraymints]

Age is but a number.....if you like him ..give it a whirl....

[waterboatman]

You can but try. Good luck!

[RATTER15]

I think you will hit problems with such an age gap but go for it and see.

[Canary42]

Based on my own experience, it'll end in tears. But it works for some.

[murraymints]

My ex was 21 years older ....but it was his childishness that caused the drift !!

[RATTER15]

I think one of the biggest problems is when you go out with friends, you will find his friends more mature and possibly boring and he will find your friends immature and giggly. I may be wrong.

[yogasun]

Two of my married friends have been happily married for many years to men who are 18 years older than them. It seems to have worked out OK
although if you didn't know the ages of the women you'd think they were about 10 years older than they actually are, not that that's important.

I agree with RATTER though, what he says could well be true, it very much depends on individuals. Try it and see!

[Maydup]

I have a similar age gap and we've celebrated 25years together. I was older than you when we first met, but how could I not say "Go for it!" and enjoy.

[DTCwordfan]

For a man take your age and divide by 2 and add 7....so a woman take off 7 and multiply by two....so 24 in your case.

[Mosaic]

Go for it but be realistic. If it goes the distance - there's quite a difference between 55 and 70. Many 70 year olds are lively, fit and interesting....but you get my drift.

[AlwaysConfused]

My husband is 18 years older than me, we are mentally on the same wavelength!

When I was 19, I went out with someone for six years who was 23 years older than me, as woman saw it, or I was 23 years younger than him, as blokes saw it! I've been out with people the same age as me, and we have had a great time. So age to me is not relevant. The noticeable differences when I was 19 were:

I'd spend all night playing computer games, he spent all day doing the Times Cryptic crossword. I taught him to play, he taught me to solve cryptic clues; I was happy watching teen films, he was happy watching David Attenborough, no real compromise was made there!; I liked clubs, he liked restaurants, so we went to pubs instead. Any relationship is about compromise.

That relationship, as stated, only lasted 5 years. With the age difference between me and OH, people presume I am older than I look, and he is younger than he looks! I know 18 year olds more mentally mature than my husband (but I wouldn't change him for the world)

[AlwaysConfused]

Just noticed that one minute it was five years, the next sentence it was six! I admit, I can't remember now. It was either five or six!

[AlwaysConfused]

Also, Ann 321, have you posted under a different name before? The use of the word 'like' smells familiar, like

[snags]

''For a man take your age and divide by 2 and add 7.''

Where does this crap originate from...

[BAKERS DOZEN]

Age difference does not matter at all but not many men get to 34 without having some baggage - wife, ex wife, children - so make sure you know what you are taking on.

[Old_Geezer]

Whatever you decide, do so with your eyes open. If you are looking for small term fling that would probably get intimate, and you are sure you wouldn't get too emotionally involved, that's one thing. If, as you imply, you are concerned at the longer term issues then whilst these relationships can work, and age seems no issue whilst you believe you are both close to mid/late twenties, be aware he'll be getting into later life issues whilst you are coming to terms with no longer being young. But no decision you make on this now binds you tomorrow anyway; you may wish just to see how it goes.

[anneasquith]

i agree with BD, find out about his '' baggage status'' before making any decisions.

[bednobs]

i would just be tempted to go for a drink with him - age difference is not going to matter much if on the first date you fond out you don't really like each other is it?

[mccfluff]

snags
''For a man take your age and divide by 2 and add 7.''

Where does this crap originate from...

lol snags, probably woman weekly


no harm in going on date or two, see if your compatible. main issue i see, is he may be ready to settle down, you might not be

[China Doll]

''For a man take your age and divide by 2 and add 7'

^^^ I think your current girlfriend needs trading in for a younger model on that logic! ;oP