The Tongan Threat

[Theland]

We should be on our guard and make sure the Tongans don't overrun our country, and dilute our culture with coconuts, canoes and garlands of flowers around our necks.
Would you join in the campaign and fight the threat from the Tongans?

[jno]

[Theland]

People say I am a Tongaphobe, suffering from Tongalitis, but I am only sounding the alarm for the forthcoming collapse of our society and the Tongalation of our institutions.
The Queen in a grass skirt and a garland and swaying to the Tonga bongas? Nah!

[1ozzy]

It could only be an improvement ;-/

[Theland]

Trying to imagine knocking on Jonahs front door and when he comes out, shouting, "Hey you! Keep the noise down!"
The next one I would address would probably be Saint Peter.

[Theland]

Hey ozzy, what about you? Fancy yourself in a grass skirt?

[vetuste_ennemi]

Should I be taking this threat seriously?

Much of what you say comes across as very Tongan check.

[Buenchico]

>>> Rumour has it some of them work as moderators and editors

Who's been talking?

Here's a picture of a recent moderators' meeting, as we all psyched ourselves up for the task ahead:
https://tinyurl.com/y8t29dly

[Jackdaw33]

Anyone old enough to remember Queen Salote of Tonga? She attended the coronation in 1953 and sat in an open carriage smiling all the while that the rain teemed down. Sitting next to her was a very diminutive man who turned out to be her prime minister. Someone asked Noel Coward who was the little man sitting next to Queen Salote, to which Coward replied, "Her lunch".

[vetuste_ennemi]

Love the picture.

Tongan chic.

(It's all that red which does it for me)

[Buenchico]

>>> who turned out to be her prime minister

He was actually a Malay sultan who didn't like the cold, wet British weather (while travelling in an open carriage). He begged Queen Salote to be allowed to raise the canopy over the carriage but she, somewhat mischievously, pretended not to speak English ;-)

She was definitely a very large lady though!
https://tinyurl.com/ya27u2jd

[Jackdaw33]

You may well be correct but it's Coward's riposte which creases me. What a wit that man was.

[Buenchico]

>>> What a wit that man was

But, of course, "Wit ought to be a glorious treat like caviar; never spread it about like marmalade"
[Noel Coward]

;-)

[1ozzy]

With my spindly legs Theland, not a chance

[rowanwitch]

https://www.bing.com/videos/search?q=Tongan+warriors&;&view=detail&;mid=293488AF5EF335725B7D293488AF5EF335725B7D&;&FORM=VRDGAR

Oooh scary

[Theland]

I told you they were taking over. That video above is our local Women's Institute.

[Theland]

Some years ago the visiting King of Tonga was riding in an open carriage with the late Queen Mother, when one of the horses passed some noisy smelly wind.
Feeling embarrassed, the Queen Mother turned to the King and apologised for it. He replied, that it was quite ok and in fact he had thought it was the horse!

[vetuste_ennemi]

Scary?
You think you're hard?

Walk away mate:

[Jackdaw33]

I think I would prefer to come face-to-face with the Tongan Royal Marines that the Women's Institute.

[Theland]

Yes we have some scary ladies here don't we?
We need those super hard cases in our army to protect us and fill in for striking workers when the need arises.
Like the time some years ago when the army was called on to keep the country going during the shop window dressers strike.

[waterboatman]

Loyal friends and fearless warriors. As are the Maoris of New Zealand. They are from the same stock. I tell ya, I'm glad they are on our side!