Spanking Your Children

[spathiphyllum]

For, against, or it's no one elses business what you do behind closed doors?

https://globalnews.ca/news/5096786/banning-spanking-children/

I don't see the issue with striking the bottom of your own infant. There is a difference between spanking a child, and then child abuse.

[spathiphyllum]

She's a dominant character maybe i liked it

[hc4361]

Oh my word. Expecting your partner to change his or her clothes because you don't like what they're wearing IS bullying. It undermines their self-confidence, ridicules their taste and implies they are not intelligent enough to dress themselves.

If asked about clothing you can give your opinion in a constructive way, otherwise keep schtum and be proud of your partner's individuality.

[Calicogirl]

^^^ Yes HC, exactly x ^^^

[spathiphyllum]

Well there have been many times i've said to my Ms "I think those trousers would look better with what you're wearing" and trust me she didn't ball down and cry from a lack of confidence. In fact she took my suggestion and respected my decisions and changed. If she didn't, i wouldn't break down and cry either, i'd say "OK fine by me" and on with my day i'd go.

[B00]

Is it though? If I asked Mr Boo if what I was wearing was ok and he replied it made me look like 2 badly volkswagens, i'd change PDQ. I'd be initially huffy, but I'd trust that his opinion was correct and he didn't want me looking a mess. I certainly wouldn't think he was being a bully.

[spathiphyllum]

Kids getting ridiculed in the playgrounds and people in jobs being genuinely bullied by colleagues but you class a attire suggestion in a relationship situation as bullying?

I think that demeans the term bullying. Honestly.

[naomi24]

//If asked about clothing you can give your opinion in a constructive way, otherwise keep schtum and be proud of your partner's individuality. //

If my husband looked a mess I'd tell him - and hopefully he'd afford me the same favour. He wouldn't want to go out looking a mess - and neither would I.

[Calicogirl]

A suggestion is not the same as telling someone they can't do something or implying they change because they look a mess, that is indeed bullying and undermining.

[B00]

You honestly believe that Calicogirl?

Your partner telling you that your outfit didn't suit you is bullying?

[spathiphyllum]

asking someone to do something is not telling them. They can always say "No, i like how I look", in which case, i'd say "fine, lets go".

We're not ripping their clothes of and forcing other on..

[woofgang]

Boo, genuine question, not a troll.
"They are here to follow the example we set them"

Doesn't smacking them set them an example that there are circumstances when its ok to hit?

[B00]

"Doesn't smacking them set them an example that there are circumstances when its ok to hit? "

Yes :-)

[woofgang]

so when your child hits another child at school then that is ok?

[spathiphyllum]

It would be situational. Could you provide a situation? If a child hit mine and mine hit them back i wouldn't care. So the situation is important

[B00]

Ahhh then, we're into the realms of a child being able to understand verbally right from wrong.

Again, this was just the way I brought (still bringing up) my children. When toddlers, if they repeatedly did something wrong, they'd get threatened with a smack and then followed through with said smack if it continued. As they got older and I was able to verbally communicate and reason with them, the smacking ceased.

I'm not saying my way is right or wrong, it's just what I did *shrug*

[Sqad]

Surely it is clear to all, that chastising a child by smacking is still a method used by many (maybe the majority and maybe not) and that chastising by words is not the only method.

It is and should be a method of choice........and in practical terms it is.

Like BOO, wee don't know if it is the best method and neither do the antagonists know that there methodid the better.

[ummmm]

Not in Wales, Sqad...

[Sqad]

I don't live in Wales and never have.

[SparklyKid]

Mum used to slap my legs, dad never did. Got the strap at school many times. Caned on the backside with a plimsol.

Caned on the backside six times for running down a corridor.

Only ever gave one of daughters a light back hander as she stormed out the room, she was being very cheeking and determined to have the last word.

[tinkerbell23]

I was smacked pretty hard as a child.

Mum now knows she was too heavy handed.

I was very very resentful & angry. I had counselling & I can live with it now.

I wont hit my children (i am 31) because I know that if my Mum had grounded me or kept pocket money off of me it would have punished me more than a smack!

The last time she hit me hard I was 21 and it took EVERYTHING in me not to absolutley kick her head in I have to say. I am not a violent person.

Counsellor asked why I never hit back & or told family!!! I said shes my Mum you just cant!! Family would say oh well you must have deserved it.....

No sorry a CHILD cant do something that bad that causes so much anger.

Even a light spank its just..... pointless!

Punish yes..... but that? No x