Invited Without Baby

[DeeLicious]

We are planning to have a few neighbours round for festive drinkipoos, and we want to invite a nice couple but don't want them to bring their baby who's about a year old. Is there an acceptable way of phrasing that invite? Tin hat on waiting for abuse at us not wanting them to bring their baby....

[fender62]

who brings children to drinking parties...except chavs, so thye can run around looking for things to break or nick.

[pixie374]

I would certainly invite them with the baby.... but if you are determined not to, describe it as "adult drinks" and make sure you name both the adults on the invitation (however you are inviting people). That makes it clear, and is obviously not offensive- unless you are inviting everyone else's children and not theirs. Make sure it is worded to be clear it includes everyone coming.

[New Judge]

//…there were seats at the other end, of the restaurant, i gave a nod, to the waitress, she took my hint..and moved us all. ohh the looks we got...//

And there’s the fundamental problem, fender. I just don’t understand why parents believe that a decent restaurant is the place for a small child in the evening. Adults are entitled to a bit of child-free space and time when they are paying decent dosh for a night out. These errant parents simply have no idea. Unfortunately I had no choice to move as you did when I experienced similar problems a couple of weeks ago. It was a small place, I couldn’t move and even if I could it would have made no difference. The whole restaurant was enveloped in the wailing.

// Can I just ask the OP why she doesn't want them to bring their baby?//

I should think that is obvious. A “few festive drinkeypoos” is not an occasion for a one year old. I imagine it is in the evening and one year old children should be in bed early. There’s a very good chance it will become tired and “distressed” and basically spoil everybody’s enjoyment. There are plenty of places to take one year old children where they can be indulged to their parents’ hearts’ content.

[pixie374]

NJ, I also don't understand why adults believe the world is entirely for them... and wish to believe children and babies don't exist/ don't need familiarisation or education in different circumstances.
Occasionally, yes, it may be more appropriate for adults-only, from the child's point of view. But not in general. Believe it or not, parents never like to see or hear their child distressed either, and would do everything they can to solve it. Including leaving early if necessary. The parents will not enjoy it with a "wailing baby,".

[New Judge]

//NJ, I also don't understand why adults believe the world is entirely for them... and wish to believe children and babies don't exist/ don't need familiarisation or education in different circumstances.//

I don't believe any of that, pixie. But I do believe that young children should not be taken to venues and events that are clearly unsuitable for them. Unfortunately doting parents cannot always be relied upon to use their discretion by determining what is and is not suitable. In fact my experience shows that they very often cannot.

//Believe it or not, parents never like to see or hear their child distressed either, and would do everything they can to solve it.//

Those in the restaurant I experienced a couple of weeks back did nothing of the sort. In fact that's precisely what they did - nothing. Their charge was simply left to its own devices, occasionally being lifted out of its basket (which made it cry even more) before they replaced it and returned to their meals and booze. I'd like to think it was an isolated incident but it isn't. It's happened countless times.

[pixie374]

There may be bad parents around... or desperate ones. But clearly we need to include babies and children into society as soon and as much as possible. There is no benefit in excluding them for many years and then wondering why they don't feel they fit in anywhere.

[pixie374]

Out of interest (just to compare while we were in France)... how much effort did you make in trying to comfort the baby, nj? Or was it very much- their baby, their problem.?

[Boto]

I think we need to exclude babies and children as much as possible. Let them eat in McDonald’s and the like so they can all squawk together.

[Cloverjo]

Pixie //how much effort did you make in trying to comfort the baby, nj?//

I think it would be a bit odd for a male stranger to try to comfort another family’s baby.

[pixie374]

Yes... and they will turn into healthy, lovely, respectful teenagers:-)

[pixie374]

I don't, clover. Presumably this was a public place. If you go anywhere in Europe, people react to children as if they are human... it is so different.

[retrocop]

If you grab someone else's baby in an English restaurant to comfort and appease it you would probably be accused of being a child molester, paedophile and end up with a bloody nose. Why is it not the responsibility of the parent to ensure other patrons have not had their evening disturbed due to their ignorance and selfishness.If the young baby is screeching and bawling then it would be better to them home for an early bath.

[gness]

Spot on @ 19:47, Pixie. Here in Ireland children are included from day one and just grow up knowing how to behave in different situations......x

[pixie374]

Would you really grab someone else's baby, retro? I doubt you would tbh. But Britain does seem to be the only place where we refuse to interact with other people's children- and are unfailingly surprised if they grow up to be antisocial or violent. We are very strange and short-sighted here, when it comes to children.

[pixie374]

Thank you, gness x usually the same here... except for the odd older man :-)

[gness]

Boto.......are you serious! Just because I’ve given birth I have to spend years eating in McDonald’s!.... ;-)

[Vagus]

If you go anywhere in Europe people react to children as if they’re human...?
No they don’t. We’ve travelled extensively in Europe and I can assure you people everywhere expect the parents to make sure their children behave.

[gness]

You’ve missed the point, Vagus.

[pixie374]

Most parents do, vagus... but they interact and talk to any child that comes in. They don't treat them as an unexploded bomb that needs to be moved far away from all civilisation :-). It's easier here to take a rottweiler in than a baby.

[douglas9401]

One benefit of a crying child is that the noise drowns out tales of glory days from those at the opposite side of the circle of life.