Invited Without Baby

[DeeLicious]

We are planning to have a few neighbours round for festive drinkipoos, and we want to invite a nice couple but don't want them to bring their baby who's about a year old. Is there an acceptable way of phrasing that invite? Tin hat on waiting for abuse at us not wanting them to bring their baby....

[Cloverjo]

Rockrose //If you exclude children from adult company how do you expect to know how to behave?
What’s the point in having children if you don’t spend time with the children?//

The OP was about one tiny ‘drinkipoos’. No one’s talking about parents never seeing their children.

[sherrardk]

If I didn’t take my kids out with me to social situations I wouldn’t go anywhere - not everyone is happy to dump their kids left, right and centre.

[Rockrose]

My response was more aimed at judge

[sherrardk]

Sorry, meant to add that the op is free to have a ‘thing’ and not want kids there - completely get that kids at social things is not everyone’s cup of tea.

[Bobbisox1]

Then they can politely decline the invite I’d have thought Sherr ?

[pixie374]

I was still breastfeeding mine by that age, so I wouldn't have either. I have given my best opinion on how to invite only adults, but I am glad most of my friends are family people.

[Apc2604]

This question took a different direction. Noone I hope is criticising the OP. The young couple of course can decline or accept. And of course there are some functions where it would be unsuitable to take children.

[ummmm]

The English need to get past the 'seen and not heard' attitude.

[Rockrose]

Of course no one is criticising the op!

[New Judge]

OK. Let's make it simple:

//Babies and young kids need to experience different faces, different locations and different routines too!//

Picture: a busy, noisy restaurant on a Saturday night. A party of about ten people enjoying themselves (and getting quite "merry"). They have with them a baby which I would estimate at no more than three months old. The baby is stuck in a Moses basket on a chair at the end of their table. The child is distressed to the point of sobbing uncontrollably. Every other customer in the restaurant is suffering from the noise of the child's distress to such a degree that most of them leave far earlier than they otherwise would (indicating that I was, perhaps, not the only "prissy" person there). Bear in mind that some of them may have left their children at home having paid a babysitter so they could have a nice "adult" evening out. What sort of "experience [of] different faces, different locations and different routines" is that child benefitting from?

I'm not suggesting that all children should be banned from adult interaction until they gain majority. I'm talking about parents using a bit of common sense and making sensible decisions about where they take their very young children. Remember this question began with reference to a one year old child and hosts not wanting it to be included in an invitation to what was to be clearly an adult occasion. Even people with young children like the occasional bit of "adult time" and they should not be castigated or looked upon as child haters because they do. It may be a peculiarly British or English attitude (I'm not too concerned what goes on elsewhere) but it's one which I quite like and I hope that it endures.

[jourdain2]

When we had babies we more or less opted out of the social scene and moved towards other couples in the same point of life and family. I didn't expect to be invited to 'adult' parties. It's one of those things.

[Zacs-Master]

It’s not really a party tho is it? Just a few drinks for Christmas.

[New Judge]

Yes - without children as per the host's wishes.

[ummmm]

NJ...do you not get bored of typing?

[maggiebee]

94 posts about a wee festive drink? Really? Just don't invite them, problem solved.

[Ellipsis]

Invite them and don't mention the baby.

Chances are they won't come or they'll come without the baby. And if they do come with the baby, it will either go fine or it will give you and the neighbours something to talk about for years ...

[sanmac]

"Hi, I'd like to sign-up for sky-diving school."
"Great, I'll be your instructor. But is that a baby you have strapped onto your front?"
"Yes it is my little darling."
"Well, ma'am, we don't think that it's really a good idea to have babies cascading down from the skies; therefore, you'll have to get a baby-sitter."
"No, no, no, I want this child to experience life to its fullest; to see the world from a new perspective; to listen to vibrant new sounds; to peer into new faces; to soar with the eagles with wide-eyed wonder; and to realize that the entire universe is hers for the grasping."
"Sorry, ma'am, no babies."
"Well, I never, aren't you a prissy, sour-pussed, grinch-brained, curmudgeonly, old-fashioned fart. By the by, are there any bungee-jumping outfits around here?"

[pixie374]

Lol. Not quite the same as attending a friend's house with parents- but don't let that stop you!

[sanmac]

Pixie, don't you recall that you were one of the posters who nudged the thread away from the simple "drinkie-poo" situation at a house into the realms of adults' attitudes towards young children in other situations, and indeed in other countries and societies?

[pixie374]

Yes, sanmac. I was referring to general attitudes towards babies and children in this country. Not suggesting we should strap them to ourselves to go skydiving...
A little common sense goes a long way. It doesn't need to be one extreme or another.