Dad Jokes Of The Day

[Hopkirk]

To the person who stole my glasses: I will find you.
I have contacts.


To the man in the wheelchair who stole my camouflage jacket.

You can't run but you can hide.


To the person while stole my antidepressants.

I hope you’re happy now.


To the man who stole my dictionary.

I have no words.


To the person who stole my joke.

I don't find it funny.


To the person who stole my calendar.

You are going to get 12 months.


The man who stole my personal journal and bible has died.

My thoughts and prayers are now with his family.


To the man who stole my mood ring.

I am not too sure how I feel about this.


To the person who stole my Merry-Go-Round.

You can sit and spin.


To the person who stole my shoes whilst I was on the bouncy castle.

Grow up and act your age.


To the person who stole my fridge full of Red Bull.

I bet you can't sleep at night.


To the person who stole all of the lightbulbs from my house.

I am absolutely delighted.


To the person that stole all my weight-loss pills.

You have nothing to gain.


To the person who stole my limbo stick.

How low can you go.


To the man who stole my asthma inhaler.

I find this breath taking.


To the person who stole my cars steering wheel.

I can't handle it any longer.


To the person who stole all the toilet seats from the police station.

You may get away with it, the cops have nothing to go on.


To the man that snuck into the cinema last week.

You stole the show.


To the person who stole my McDonalds meal.

I'm not lovin it.

[emmie]

so many jokes, so little time....

[1ozzy]

Are your days numbered Hoppy?
Hope you've saved one for tomorrow;-)

[Hopkirk]

I should have done, yes.

[Chipchopper]

To the guy who stole my doorstop, we can talk about this, my door is always open

[10ClarionSt]

They all sound very Tim Vine-ish!

[mallyh]

to the thief that stole my iPhone you could face time in prison x

[mallyh]

to the thief that stole my computer ,i'll catch you ,you have my word x

[Patsy33]

Someone has it in for you, Hoppy!
Kleptomaniac by the sounds if it. If you ever find him, tell him he can take something for that..

[maggiebee]

To the person who stole my bed.
I won't rest until I find you.

[Aysha123]

When it comes to anything weight loss related, I’m skeptical.
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But when I saw it was confirmed by prestigious institutions such as Cambridge University and Newcastle University in England…
And that regular parents like Robert Harris and his wife Sonya melted off a combined 89lbs of flab with it…
I knew I just had to share it with you.
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