please dont judge but opinions please

[littlemissx]

i am engaged to a really lovely guy who would do anything for me and loves me to bits. last weekend i went away for a girly weekend to cheer her up a bit and met a guy whom if i was single would be my ideal match. nothing happened but we swapped numbers. he has been texting me ever since.

you know when you are growing up you have this dream of your ideal man... well he is all i dreamt of.

he has asked to meet again but i dont know what to do... obviously i would take things no further with this guy whilst with my partner but does this mean that i am maybe not so much as in love with him than i thought???

[nat_84]

Well u know the old saying....


"u dont know what u've got till it's gone"


.....i have a feeling this is what will apply to u if u split up with him...

[crete]

i wonder how old you are ?

[claireyfairy]

maybe the idea of spending the rest of your life with this one man that you are engaged to is freaking you out a bit? Does the new guy know that you are engaged? Part of me says go for it because you don't want to spend the rest of your life wondering what if, but then again like they sy you don't know what u've got til it's gone and are you wiling to risk loosing your fiance completely for a guy you've just met?

[littlemissx]

i'm 21

[kipchik]

He's new,for all u know he could be a nose picking/f4rting/serial-killer,its nice to get some attention,a bit of flirting but reality is something TOTALLY different,i've been married a long time,but a little bit of attention from elsewhere is just luverly!It doesnt mean youre not as in love as you think,its just natural,if you know you love him,then you have nothing to worry about.

[Pippa68]

If you have met your 'ideal match' whist engaged to someone who by elimination obviously isn't..then you shouldn't be engaged.

I am married, and in all the time I have been with my husband (11 years) I have never met anyone who matches him. I think you have to sit down & ask yourself if you really want to spend the rest of your life with someone who doesn't meet your criteria ;o)

Good luck! xx

[crete]

if you are interested in other men when just away for a weekend then it would be honest to your boyfriend to terminate the relationship, what would your feelings be if it was your boyfriend in your situation

[littlemissx]

no the new guy knows nothing about me being engaged... i dont think he would even attempt to try and meet me again... he seems a genuinly nice guy and i dont think he would do that to another guy

[stylinsam]

i can relate to u as i am the same age i understand the way you are feeling about this guy who u met when u were with your mate! but you have got to think about two people when u make your decision. your fiance -- would he be heartbroken if u called things of ! could u do that to him after getting engaged to him! personally i think that you should cool it with this other guy who u have only just met! im not judging u because i have thought this many of times since been with my fiance- i think when i meet a nice guy - i mean the kinda guy i always dreamed of my soul mate- i think could i give up what i have now! just to see if my dream would come true and the answer is always the same-No !
i can tell u love your fiance as u wouldnt of posted this question otherwise. just think things through before you make any harsh decisions.
hope this helps sam xxxxxxx :o)

[littlemissx]

nothing has happened like i say its not as though i went out to meet some guy and go home with him. we were stood next to eachother ina bar and were just chatting, normal conversation but got into a bit of a light hearted debate that he said he would like to continue hence the reason we swapped numbers. a kiss on the cheek goodbye hardly means an affair, i just doubt that its true love if i look at other men in that light x

[lady_p_gold]

Well just to put another slant on it .. what if this new guy IS your ideal man and what if you are missing the chance of a lifetime together .... trouble is how can you find out if you are engaged without being deceitful and then it might not be what you think. Tricky one this. Maybe you should chat to the new guy a little bit more and if you really feel there is something important there maybe you should call off the engagement.

[Octavius]

I don't think you are ready for marriage.

[fms]

in my opinion little miss and this only my opinion
if yr having theese thoughts about someone esle then you really have to consider if the relationship yr in is the one.
personally i feel if your with a person you really do love then noone else comes into the equasion ,
so in answer to yrs then i would say you d ont feel quite as strong about yr current partner as perhaps you thought you did ?

[vanquish]

in my opinion the fact that you are contenplating
meeting this guy shows that you have doubt about
your relationship.

do yourself a favour and spend more time looking at the grey areas in your own relationhip.

i wish you look!!!

[littlemissx]

i agree to that octavius... when he proposed i was so overwhelmed i said yes straight away. the next day i sat him down and said that yes i do want to marry him but i'm not ready for marriage yet and i would want us to be 100% sure that we were both ready for teh lifelong commitment. we are saving money for it but would like a big wedding so will take us a few years. it would be a long engagement anyway

[JustSia]

One thing you learn as you get older is that not all that you want is good for you. Sometimes even the best of dreams are better of as just that - dreams. Yes, there is only one way to find out if you are meant to be together. But think about it, away from the attraction and the confusing messages your heart sends you there is a small matter of rationality.

Would you be able to tolerate each others bad habits when you're live together? Would he be able to provide for you when you are pregnant? Would he want to? What are your plans ambitions and do they clash? What would happen once you live together and he no longer has to impress you? At least you know most of these answers re your present partner, or I hope so if you are engaged.

Try and remember why you fell in love with him in the first place. Without going into the details tell him you are feeling anxious, talk about it. Sort your head out and your heart. But until then put the other guy away from temptation. Whatever decision you make has to be based on how you feel, not how you feel about this new guy. Just think if he never came would you still be getting married and if so then remember that there will always be temptations would be able to cope with them. 21 is still quite early to make this commitment if you are not sure.

[4getmenot]

Well me being me I would just go for it with the other but thats me and I know from past that I got rid of someone for someone else and it didnt work out. I'm still now single after 8 years and my ex is getting married this Saturday gutted. But hey thats life. :-)

[fms]

remember little miss engagement is only exactly that its a period of make yr mind up time dont rush anything till yr 100% as you said thats why so many people get divorced jus make sure yr happy first any doubts then wait or move on ;~)

[littlemissx]

thank you all for your answers... i guess i have a lot of thinking to do eh!!!! thank you also for not judging me x