Is porn that big of a deal??????

[dizydosydoll]

I have just had a debate with my good friend over porn! Basically my fella watches porn and it doesnt bother me he has also been to a strip club on 2 occassions for stag dos. My friend is really against men looking at women in that way and her new fella has been to a strip club over the weekend and so she is mortified, i have tried to tell her that its not that big of a deal but she isnt having any of it and went on to say how porn is like the next thing to a affair and that she has spoke to her ex partners in detail about what turns them on about porn and its because they imagine that they are the person doing it and i feel that was just a dig at me. So 3 quetions please 1) does your partner watching porn bother you? And men 2) do you really get off watching porn wishing you was that person on the screen and last 3) do you think she is right in what she is saying that men shouldnt look at women this way?
TIA

[jeanette1976]

I watch and enjoy porn and I'm a WOMAN.... enough said, methinks... X

[rugeleyboy]

1. my wife thinks porn is funny and doesnt get bothered at all about me watching it.

2. i have never thought i was with the person in the film, if anything it the voyourism of watching that is the biggest turn on.

3. i think she is over reacting to be a little princess and i dont think deep down it bothers her, i think she is liking the attention and being argumentative!!

now if you dont mind i will carry on watching "heather i deep throat"

[dizydosydoll]

I do as jean well jeanette, but not because i wish i was the person on the screen.

[Theland]

I think it's wrong, I think it's sick, and I think that men who watch this stuff have no respect for women. Women watching it? Guess that's sick as well.

[whiskeysheri]

I don't see anything wrong in it. Perhaps she's just a little insecure?

[jno]

sexual compatibility is important in a relationship. So it doesn't matter whether porn is right or wrong, what is more important is that both people should feel much the same about it. If your friend and her man see it so differently, there may be trouble ahead. Most men seem to like porn, though not necessarily because they wish they were the one on screen or they wish the woman was theirs. The proportion of women who like it is a lot lower, as far as I know, but I don't know if anyone's compiled any exact statistics.

[dizydosydoll]

thats true pa____ul

[laurence2]

I would'nt say porn is ''sick'' after all the majority of us, i assume thats 99% of the country have sex at sometime in our lifetime.

Personally, watching porn would do nothing for me, men on the otherhand who watch porn go to strip joints are trying to portray the ''BIG I AM'' its a power trip for some of them, i do tend to think that if your in a relationship tho, its a bit of a put down towards your partner, still whatever pleases someone will displease another person, i suspose all to there own as long as no one is getting hurt out of this

[pixie_woo]

I'm not bothered by Hubby watching porn or visiting a strip joint, as long as he tells me. I couldn't stand the thought of him creppy around behind my back. My relationship is honest and we can acknowledge that just cos married doesn't mean you go blind to other people's charms. Neither of us have ever cheated and we never would.

[Miss Inquiry]

I'm not bothered by Mr Inquiry watching it at all, he is off on a stag do this weekend and I know at somepoint the bunch of them will stumble into a strip club (probabaly more than 1) it dosn't bother me.
Like jno says as long as the 2 people in the relationship have the same views you should be OK. If Mr Inquiry was going to strip clubs and watching porn and I had no idea about it at all and suddenly found out I wouldn't be too pleased, purley as there seems to me to be nothing wrong with it and it needn't be hidden.

[laurence2]

pa-------------ul, why is it a bit harsh?

[liquidspace]

How can people say that as long as they know their partner is watching porn or going to strip joints its ok BUT if they didnt know then its not - cant get my head around that one. Ok the sly aspect yes I understand but the act is the same, they are getting the same out of it whether you know or not.

I actually agree with your friend dizy. I dont think she is doing it for the attention and really she doesnt mind, clearly she does mind. I believe that if ur in a relationship, your partner shouldnt have a need to do it if you are providing it when he/she requires it.

If my partner wanted to go to a strip club I wouldnt want him to. Maybe jealousy is involved I dont know but I dont like the thought of him getting sexually aroused over another woman's body apart from my own. I feel quite strongly over this issue.

If your partner is getting sexual pleasure and then orgasm from looking at porn for example, how do you know that when they are next doing it with you they are not thinking about that other person or what they have seen previously.

[jeanette1976]

Hi Theland, I'm not sick, I'm just very comfortable and confident with my own sexuality, as men AND women should be.... I don't want to BE the people in the films. In fact, I wrote my Fine Art dissertation on this point and I got a first.

And whats wrong with watching people do what the majority of us do and enjoy anyay? Sex is completely natural.

If on the other hand, you think it DEGRADES WOMEN, and it is depicted in a film that there are FIVE MEN having sex with ONE wOMAN, who is degraded and who is dominant? The woman? No, i think the woman is more dominant because it takes 5 men to satisfy one woman....

[Miss Inquiry]

Liquidspace, your right people get the same out of it if their partners know or don't know. That is not what I meant. If I had no idea Mr Inquiry enjoyed watching porn and he hid it from me and I found out, I would be hurt that he felt he had to hide it from me and couldn't discuss it with me. We have a really open/honest relationship, and I think when it comes to sex the more honest you are the better your sex life becomes.
We went to Erotica this weekend, a lot of people would be surprised at how many couples we saw buying porn together.

[liquidspace]

missenquiry

I understand what you say but can you say you are totally happy knowing, for example, that your husband is at home while you are at work, or popped to the shops, masturbating and coming while looking at gyrating naked women - if you then came home and felt like sex he wouldnt be interested would he? - I know my partner wouldnt. I think my own personal problem is that partner seems to prefer watching porn to being with me.

Even if he told me (which he would because he is very honest) I still wouldnt like it. I would like to think that he could or should wait until I return and have sex with me rather than do that.