Donate SIGN UP

Some people shouldn't have children!

Avatar Image
pastafreak | 21:11 Fri 08th Jun 2007 | Society & Culture
14 Answers
I have just read about a mother(I use that term loosely) who-after an aurgument with her daughters in the car- dumped them on a dual carrageway and drove off!!! The little girls were ONLY 6 and 9....I am totally gobsmacked. What kind of person does something like this...she said she looked for them later...Hah! I doubt it. Needless to say the children are no longer in her care. What do you think?
Gravatar

Answers

1 to 14 of 14rss feed

Best Answer

No best answer has yet been selected by pastafreak. Once a best answer has been selected, it will be shown here.

For more on marking an answer as the "Best Answer", please visit our FAQ.
It is very tempting when children are misbehaving to do something just to shut them up but this was a totally irresponsible thing to do. Anything could have happened to the children and even though I would think she probably did look for them - how much later was that? Without knowing what pressure the parent was under at the time it's difficult to know the exact circumstances but I am stunned by her actions
She's obviously a bit of a nutter! At least I hope she is, coz if she isnt....well that would be real scary. Poor little things, its heartbreaking and I just cant think about it for too long, its too sad. My kids get terrified if they even if think theyre lost.

Well theres either something wrong with her or she temporarily lost herself. Nothing kicked in to tell her she was doing wrong. Took her 3 hrs to decide to go and look for them too. Seems they were all arguing in the car. Has anyone noticed how parents and their kids argue like mates that have fallen out? I see it quite a lot. Assert your authority (not as above) and do your kids a favour I say.
Felt like it a few times but I couldn't afford a car. As I had paid the bus fare I wasn't going to chuck them off.
sounds aright daft moo
Can't say I haven't threatened to do the same thing sometimes, but they always know you are bluffing!

It doesn't often happen, but if my two are arguing and fighting in the car, I feel that it ruins my concentration, so I refuse to drive! I find a safe place to stop and refuse to move until everyone has said sorry and are behaving themselves again. Considering that I am usually going somewhere for their pleasure rather than mine, it doesn't take long for it to sink in that they are either going to be late, or are wasting time that could be better spent at the park etc.

Sounds like she totally lost it and put her kids lives in danger - it is only right that they have been removed from her care.
Question Author
I just cannot begin to imagine what was going thru her head when she made the descision to drive off. Was it momentary madness or rubbish parenting skills?Apparently the police fouund them 30min after she left them,and stayed with them for another 30min to see if the mother would show up.Where was she??
I think it's a very irresponsible, seflish & cruel thing to do!

It's bad enough losing sight of your Mum when out shopping! (I'll always remember holding onto a woman's coat, only to look up & find it wasn't 'my' Mum. Aaaarrrggg)!

As bensmum has said, there must be times when some Mum's feel like doing this, 'specially after a stressful morning getting them out of the door & into the car (if they need to drive of course - some Mum's are just too lazy to walk - fact)!

But common sense should prevail & tell them otherwise!

I do the same annie!

If I'm taking our two youngest grandchildren out & they start bickering between themselves, I tell them once to stop & if they don't, I pull over & refuse to drive any further.

They soon get the message & quietly carry on with their drawings! The next minute they're holding hands - bliss!
It's wrong....very very wrong, but so bloody tempting sometimes. I can understand how parents lose the plot occasionally.

Not condoning it though !!
She could have at least walked herself and left the kids to drive, seeing as safety was not the issue.
This happened to my brother and me when I was 6 and he was 4. I'm 45 now but I can remember it as clearly as the day it happened in 1968.

We had been playing up in the car and Mum put us out in the bus station and then told me to get the bus eight miles home to our village. I was so young that I didn't know how to get a bus so I took my brother's hand and we started walking. After a while we were soon picked up by some girls in a car. They took us for another couple of miles before dropping us at the turning of the country road that leads to the village. After another 20 minutes of walking through the countryside, a police car stopped beside us - and our distraught mother was in the back sobbing . She clasped us in her arms and didn't let go till we were home. The police said nothing.

This sounds horrific and I still remember the incident as if it happened yesterday. My mother is dead now but I now know that she suffered severe post-natal depression after the birth of my brother and never really recovered. My father worked abroad at the time and he wasn't there to help and he often had affairs. He was in the middle of one those at that time.

My point is that for a mother to do something like this, there is something terribly wrong and she almost certainly needs help. My mother -and mothers in general - don't just do things like this out of recklessness or lack of care. My mother loved us dearly but she was bringing us up in the days when post-natal depression was not really recognised and most people were just told to "pull yourself together". Things aren't much better now and there are so many people today with the same mentality that "if these people just got a job they'd be alright".

Don't think of mothers who do this harshly. I suggest this woman needs help - she doesn't need to be beaten even harder around the head by the world around her.
Question Author
Dear Andyvon-your story is so horrific and so very personal-it does put a different perspective on things when such a first-hand account is described. It would seem that tho attitudes to post-natal depression were so very different then,you were lucky in that you and your brother were allowed to stay with your mum-I am sure that her attempt to find you immediately influenced the descision of the police to turn a blind eye to what your mum had done. Also-the world is viewed as a much more dangerous place than it was 40yrs ago.I don't doubt that there are aspects to this current case that we do not know about that have a bearing on its outcome. Thanks so much for your input.
Thankyou for your reply pastafreak. I thought I might get another kind of reaction from some.
Its true what you say. The world is far more dangerous now and I have often wondered what would happen if the same thing happened today. It has also been suggested that if this did happen now then my brother and I would be taken straight into care. I'm pleased we weren't from what I've seen of children shunted around the care system and then abandoned at 18.
The real tragedy is that so many people are under such terrific stress and they recieve no help - even when they ask repeatedly. Do you remember the woman who jumped off the Humber Bridge with her 12 year old autistic son two years ago? She wasn't evil like some said. Her husband had left years earlier and she had spent 12 years alone asking for help with her son just to be told there wasn't any money and she was doing fine.
Everyone has their breaking point and no one should be pushed that far. My tale was the tip if the iceberg of coping with my Mum's depression and whenever I hear these stories I see the same things in the background. .

1 to 14 of 14rss feed

Do you know the answer?

Some people shouldn't have children!

Answer Question >>