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Other Peoples Kids
23 Answers
Think-tank Civitas said the "escalation of child protection measures" had made everyone from sports coaches to Santas seem like "potential child abusers".
In its report, Licensed to Hug, Civitas said that child protection regulations had "succeeded in poisoning the relationship between the generations".
While in the past, adults would have helped children in distress or rebuked those misbehaving, there was now "a feeling that it is best not to become involved", it said.
As a man I tend to agree. I was at Tumbletots last week and I felt very hesitant about looking at or helping other peoples children over the apparatus, or helping them if they fell off. My wife thinks I was being irrational and said loads of dads take part. But I can't help having the worrying sense that everyone would be watching me with suspicious eyes as they don't really know me or trust me and might incorrectly assume - or even briefly consider -the worst.
I realise this might seem ridiculous, but any thoughts?
In its report, Licensed to Hug, Civitas said that child protection regulations had "succeeded in poisoning the relationship between the generations".
While in the past, adults would have helped children in distress or rebuked those misbehaving, there was now "a feeling that it is best not to become involved", it said.
As a man I tend to agree. I was at Tumbletots last week and I felt very hesitant about looking at or helping other peoples children over the apparatus, or helping them if they fell off. My wife thinks I was being irrational and said loads of dads take part. But I can't help having the worrying sense that everyone would be watching me with suspicious eyes as they don't really know me or trust me and might incorrectly assume - or even briefly consider -the worst.
I realise this might seem ridiculous, but any thoughts?
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I don't think it's anything new.
My mother has said that her own father made a point of behaving in the same way you describe because people might get the wrong idea, and that was in the 1950s. He was an older father, being 44 when my mother was born, and he worried people might misinterpret his intentions.
My dad has said that when we were growing up in the 70s, he used to worry if they had taken a bunch of us down to the local park and one of the kids - particularly the girls - had said, 'Uncle ______, I need to go to the toilet' because he wasn't actually an uncle and people might think something was going on if someone helped a 4 year old to go to the loo.
My mother has said that her own father made a point of behaving in the same way you describe because people might get the wrong idea, and that was in the 1950s. He was an older father, being 44 when my mother was born, and he worried people might misinterpret his intentions.
My dad has said that when we were growing up in the 70s, he used to worry if they had taken a bunch of us down to the local park and one of the kids - particularly the girls - had said, 'Uncle ______, I need to go to the toilet' because he wasn't actually an uncle and people might think something was going on if someone helped a 4 year old to go to the loo.
I walked past an oldish man who was stood outside his house talking to a boy of 7 or 8 who was eating sweets. It did cross my mind whether the man had given the boy sweets to lure him in. We seem to think the worst of people these days because of events in the news. If I saw a child that needed help (if they had fallen or were lost etc) I would help them though regardless of what anyone thought.
I think that is a real shame that you and others obviously should feel like that.
It is a shame for you/others to have to be hesitant around children, its also means that children have less experiences of having safe touch and positive contact with a whole range of people
It is yet another effect abusers have, not only do they harm their victims, but they cause innocent people to feel inhibited around children.
Maybe its very different for women, as someone who has always worked with children I have never had to worry about having contact with them, including physical contact.
Not sure what the solution is, we could not do away with the police checks, although this only potentially proves someone hasn't been convicted.
It is a shame for you/others to have to be hesitant around children, its also means that children have less experiences of having safe touch and positive contact with a whole range of people
It is yet another effect abusers have, not only do they harm their victims, but they cause innocent people to feel inhibited around children.
Maybe its very different for women, as someone who has always worked with children I have never had to worry about having contact with them, including physical contact.
Not sure what the solution is, we could not do away with the police checks, although this only potentially proves someone hasn't been convicted.
I have a very recent personal experience of this - last Sunday I was with my daughter in a park running behind her as she whizzed about on her very first brand new bicycle. There was another girl of a similar age coming in the opposite direction, and as they swerved to miss each other their respective stabilisers got caught up in each other and both crumpled into a heap - I helped my daughter up first (well, you would wouldn't you) and then helped the other girl up.........................and from across the park came a sprinting woman screaming at me, literally screaming at me, to leave her daughter alone.
I tried to explain what had happened but by now she was verging on hysteria, so I beat a hasty retreat with, what felt like, about three dozen pairs of accusing eyes on me.
So, would I help a child again in a similar situation?
Absolutely not.
If that meant leaving a crying, hurt child on the floor, then so be it.
Shame.
I tried to explain what had happened but by now she was verging on hysteria, so I beat a hasty retreat with, what felt like, about three dozen pairs of accusing eyes on me.
So, would I help a child again in a similar situation?
Absolutely not.
If that meant leaving a crying, hurt child on the floor, then so be it.
Shame.
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Unfortunately here in this country we are trying to deal with every thing but the real problem, and that is creating a by product which is full of more problems. I went to my kids school last Xmas time with camera to film their carol only to be told that school has decided not to allow photos etc because few parents do not like their kids to be filmed.
First of all I myself should think other children as my own children and wish good to them and not bad, then law should punish the people properly who do not behave properly. That is the only way to get rid of phobia about every other person being bad.
What goes round comes round as well. And time will come when people will start realizing that there are still more good people than the bad ones. Only we ourselves will have to think and behave in good way to change people�s mind frame.
First of all I myself should think other children as my own children and wish good to them and not bad, then law should punish the people properly who do not behave properly. That is the only way to get rid of phobia about every other person being bad.
What goes round comes round as well. And time will come when people will start realizing that there are still more good people than the bad ones. Only we ourselves will have to think and behave in good way to change people�s mind frame.
I think it's disgusting. I had to run after a screaming child in the supermarket today who had quite obviously losty his mum, (the fact that he kepy screaming 'mummy' through his tears was the vital clue) and the amount of adults that walked past the little lad or looked sadly at him while telling whoever they were with that he'd 'lost his mam' was pathetic! Honestly, when it comes to someone like me tearing after a screaming child in a supermarket because no one else will help then you know there's something wrong!
Anyway, little Jayden did make my day, I took him to the front of the store so we could get an annoucement done and I asked him his mummy's name, and yes, her name is mummy. (Very cute).
Anyway, little Jayden did make my day, I took him to the front of the store so we could get an annoucement done and I asked him his mummy's name, and yes, her name is mummy. (Very cute).
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It is absolutely nothing to do with legislation, human rights or political correctness.
It is all down to the media whipping people up into a frenzy about paedophiles. People seem to think that there are paedos lurking around the corner.
If you buy a tabloid paper - then it's your fault as you perpetuate the problem.
It is all down to the media whipping people up into a frenzy about paedophiles. People seem to think that there are paedos lurking around the corner.
If you buy a tabloid paper - then it's your fault as you perpetuate the problem.
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I agree with Vic to an extent. The media have managed to whip up a nice little frenzy but I think it's down to rational human beings to be able to ignore the hype. And frankly Octavius, I'm a little dissapointed in you that you haven't overlooked it. You're far too intelligent for this sort of nagging thought.
Of course some people there may harbour a nagging doubt, no one trusts anyone with their kids fully but equally most rational people aren't going to think you're a raging paedophile by virtue of the fact you have a penis. Same way they're not going to think I'd make a great mother by virtue of the fact I have boobies and a vagina.
I think Mrs O was spot on and that you should just enjoy playing with mini O and if another kid falls or jumps on you (or more likely, wipes their jam covered fingers over your clean clothes), then just enjoy it. Kids are great and they're fun. It's adults that ruin it for everyone in my opinion.
Of course some people there may harbour a nagging doubt, no one trusts anyone with their kids fully but equally most rational people aren't going to think you're a raging paedophile by virtue of the fact you have a penis. Same way they're not going to think I'd make a great mother by virtue of the fact I have boobies and a vagina.
I think Mrs O was spot on and that you should just enjoy playing with mini O and if another kid falls or jumps on you (or more likely, wipes their jam covered fingers over your clean clothes), then just enjoy it. Kids are great and they're fun. It's adults that ruin it for everyone in my opinion.
luckyman what a tw&t, "nothing to hide" my ar5e, kid accuses bloke of something sexual, end of, who does plod, kids parents, your mates everyone with a pulse believe? yep don't matter if you are innocent, no smoke without fire. I tell you I'd rather have good kicking from the local chavs than get anywhere near a kid these days. Engage family brain cell next time!
China a blike could not do what you did without everyone thinking the worst.
China a blike could not do what you did without everyone thinking the worst.
