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Quizzes & Puzzles16 mins ago
Getting rid of Jehovahs Witnesses
79 Answers
There used to be a marvelous site on the 'net, called The Encyclopedia Of Stupid, which is sadly no longer with us, but I am grateful to it for the following fool-proof way of getting rid of Jehovah's Witnesses:::
Apparently, if you are a JW, and you do something ghastly, like perhaps having a small glass of wine with your lunch, you become persona non grata with your local Kingdom Hall. You become what is known as "Disfellowshipped"
All JW's are then supposed to shun you in a very serious way and avoid you like the plague. So, next time you are in the middle of making dinner, and the doorbell goes and its a couple of these pests standing there, don't tell them to bugger off, or something more Anglo Saxon. This can be fun of course but its just not effective enough. What you need is some really permanent.
Just tell them that you have been "Disfellowshipped" and they will run back down your front path, as fast as their little legs will carry them, as if the very devil was after them !
More importantly, your address will be added to their "Black List" and you will never be bothered ever again !
Apparently, if you are a JW, and you do something ghastly, like perhaps having a small glass of wine with your lunch, you become persona non grata with your local Kingdom Hall. You become what is known as "Disfellowshipped"
All JW's are then supposed to shun you in a very serious way and avoid you like the plague. So, next time you are in the middle of making dinner, and the doorbell goes and its a couple of these pests standing there, don't tell them to bugger off, or something more Anglo Saxon. This can be fun of course but its just not effective enough. What you need is some really permanent.
Just tell them that you have been "Disfellowshipped" and they will run back down your front path, as fast as their little legs will carry them, as if the very devil was after them !
More importantly, your address will be added to their "Black List" and you will never be bothered ever again !
Answers
This is worthy of a place on the Viz top tips page.
Dis
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Dis
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09:03 Fri 30th Nov 2012
Naomi@
/So how long does a disfellowshipping last for?
Is it permanent, or can you regain your fellowship? //
Disfellowshipping can last as long as you want it. Some may want to stay disfellowshipped forever, others may wish to return. It is up to the person concerned and if he wishes to come back, all they need to do is make their decision known to the congregation and after a while they could be reinstated.
Actually, you are quite stupid at times aren't you?
//Incidentally, homosexuality is not a lifestyle choice.//
What is a lifestyle if it is not a choice? A lifestyle is the way a person or group of people live their lives. People choose to live in a particular way, gay people choose to live that way, or they may desire otherwise. I know of many who were/are homosexuals but chose not to live that way
/So how long does a disfellowshipping last for?
Is it permanent, or can you regain your fellowship? //
Disfellowshipping can last as long as you want it. Some may want to stay disfellowshipped forever, others may wish to return. It is up to the person concerned and if he wishes to come back, all they need to do is make their decision known to the congregation and after a while they could be reinstated.
Actually, you are quite stupid at times aren't you?
//Incidentally, homosexuality is not a lifestyle choice.//
What is a lifestyle if it is not a choice? A lifestyle is the way a person or group of people live their lives. People choose to live in a particular way, gay people choose to live that way, or they may desire otherwise. I know of many who were/are homosexuals but chose not to live that way
@Truthabounds
"Naomi@
/So how long does a disfellowshipping last for?
Is it permanent, or can you regain your fellowship? //"
Well, it was me who initially asked the question, Truthabounds - Naomi was simply repeating it - but thanks for confirming that JWs do carry out what seems to be a pretty invidious social practice...
Your response to such questioning is instructive though.Rather than engage with the question , you engage in personal insult instead - but it seems to me you miss your target entirely, since Naomi was merely requoting a question i had posed. And that seems a typical response from those with faith that presume to actively interfere in the lives of others.
Going back to the question - you did take a stab at a kind of answer but it was vague and unsatisfactory.
The implication of your answer was that it was entirely up to the person disfellowshipped how long that status might last for. But someone must sit in judgement, so can they petition to rejoin as often as they like, or is it once a week, once a year?
And you make an elementary mistake in subsequent paragraphs, describing sexual orientation as a "lifestyle choice". It really is not, except very rarely.
So, - to recap Would, for example, a homosexual be shunned simply for being homosexual, or only for being an active homosexual? How would that be determined? And if they were shunned for that reason but still wanted to regain their fellowship, what would be needed, from an evidence point of view, to allow them to regain their fellowship status?
And disfellowshipping means that those within the sect refuse to have any interactions with the person being shunned, correct? What is the penalty if someone refuses to do that?
"Naomi@
/So how long does a disfellowshipping last for?
Is it permanent, or can you regain your fellowship? //"
Well, it was me who initially asked the question, Truthabounds - Naomi was simply repeating it - but thanks for confirming that JWs do carry out what seems to be a pretty invidious social practice...
Your response to such questioning is instructive though.Rather than engage with the question , you engage in personal insult instead - but it seems to me you miss your target entirely, since Naomi was merely requoting a question i had posed. And that seems a typical response from those with faith that presume to actively interfere in the lives of others.
Going back to the question - you did take a stab at a kind of answer but it was vague and unsatisfactory.
The implication of your answer was that it was entirely up to the person disfellowshipped how long that status might last for. But someone must sit in judgement, so can they petition to rejoin as often as they like, or is it once a week, once a year?
And you make an elementary mistake in subsequent paragraphs, describing sexual orientation as a "lifestyle choice". It really is not, except very rarely.
So, - to recap Would, for example, a homosexual be shunned simply for being homosexual, or only for being an active homosexual? How would that be determined? And if they were shunned for that reason but still wanted to regain their fellowship, what would be needed, from an evidence point of view, to allow them to regain their fellowship status?
And disfellowshipping means that those within the sect refuse to have any interactions with the person being shunned, correct? What is the penalty if someone refuses to do that?
Nothing tops off an afternoon nap quite like the door bell ringing and opening the door to find some imbecile trying to unload an "Awake!" magazine. :o/
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Awake!
Awakening of a Jehovah's Witness -
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Awake!
Awakening of a Jehovah's Witness -
Naomi@ I apologise in that I assumed you asked the question, so you can put my comments to Lazygun.
However, you get the wrong idea about being stupid. Not that you are unintelligent or arrogant, but that you don't look beyond what is under your nose. You see and read into things what you want to or expect to.
//I’ve never had an STD, nor an unwanted pregnancy, and I’ve never been a Jehovah’s Witness, so how does that work?//
Well good for you. I am happy to hear that you are one who obviously tries to live a moral life. But not everyone is that way inclined.
//And actually, I think it's rather rude for a doorstep caller to persist even after being told the householder isn't interested - and persistent they are!//
If you are not interested then JWs won't outstay their welcome. I certainly don't! I have better things to do than talk to someone who is obviously not interested or who is argumentative. It is not the purpose of the witnesses to force people to convert or make them listen, it is to search out those who are hungering and thirsting for righteousness - Matthew Ch. 5 v. 3. - 3 “Happy are those conscious of their spiritual need, since the kingdom of the heavens belongs to them.
However, you get the wrong idea about being stupid. Not that you are unintelligent or arrogant, but that you don't look beyond what is under your nose. You see and read into things what you want to or expect to.
//I’ve never had an STD, nor an unwanted pregnancy, and I’ve never been a Jehovah’s Witness, so how does that work?//
Well good for you. I am happy to hear that you are one who obviously tries to live a moral life. But not everyone is that way inclined.
//And actually, I think it's rather rude for a doorstep caller to persist even after being told the householder isn't interested - and persistent they are!//
If you are not interested then JWs won't outstay their welcome. I certainly don't! I have better things to do than talk to someone who is obviously not interested or who is argumentative. It is not the purpose of the witnesses to force people to convert or make them listen, it is to search out those who are hungering and thirsting for righteousness - Matthew Ch. 5 v. 3. - 3 “Happy are those conscious of their spiritual need, since the kingdom of the heavens belongs to them.
Truthabounds, //However, you get the wrong idea about being stupid. Not that you are unintelligent or arrogant, but that you don't look beyond what is under your nose. You see and read into things what you want to or expect to.//
Well, how kind of you to tell me I’m not unintelligent or arrogant. Thank you for that. I’ll bear that little psychological assessment in mind. So what you’re actually saying is because I don’t believe as you do, I’m stupid?
I wonder how much research you’ve conducted into the subject of religion? I’ll refer you back to my last post on the ‘Why attribute anything to the God of Abraham?’ thread, which you’ve ignored – just as you’ve ignored the original question – but perhaps you’re incapable of contemplating the concept that your God isn’t the creator God? Are you?
From you: //True prophecy does not find its source in the expressed opinions or interpretations of men//
From me: //But that’s exactly what you are doing, as is every other Christian sect. What you have learnt is what you want to believe – and that applies to all of you – not forgetting Islam’s claim to the prophecy of the arrival of Mohammed, of course. Quite simply the bible doesn’t correspond to your claims. Anyone reading it for the first time, without instruction, would find it impossible to reach the conclusions you’ve reached. You're listening to men who think they know more about it than anyone else - and they don't.//
I repeat - without instruction from other men you would never have reached the conclusions you’ve reached – and that applies to the religious across the board. If you want to discover anything resembling the truth, my advice to you is to look deeper. Research everything. If you have the courage to peel away the man-made layers and look beyond that which is shoved under your nose by other people you might begin to see the light. Who doesn’t see what’s under his nose? Look again.
Well, how kind of you to tell me I’m not unintelligent or arrogant. Thank you for that. I’ll bear that little psychological assessment in mind. So what you’re actually saying is because I don’t believe as you do, I’m stupid?
I wonder how much research you’ve conducted into the subject of religion? I’ll refer you back to my last post on the ‘Why attribute anything to the God of Abraham?’ thread, which you’ve ignored – just as you’ve ignored the original question – but perhaps you’re incapable of contemplating the concept that your God isn’t the creator God? Are you?
From you: //True prophecy does not find its source in the expressed opinions or interpretations of men//
From me: //But that’s exactly what you are doing, as is every other Christian sect. What you have learnt is what you want to believe – and that applies to all of you – not forgetting Islam’s claim to the prophecy of the arrival of Mohammed, of course. Quite simply the bible doesn’t correspond to your claims. Anyone reading it for the first time, without instruction, would find it impossible to reach the conclusions you’ve reached. You're listening to men who think they know more about it than anyone else - and they don't.//
I repeat - without instruction from other men you would never have reached the conclusions you’ve reached – and that applies to the religious across the board. If you want to discover anything resembling the truth, my advice to you is to look deeper. Research everything. If you have the courage to peel away the man-made layers and look beyond that which is shoved under your nose by other people you might begin to see the light. Who doesn’t see what’s under his nose? Look again.
Naomi@
As usual Naomi you get the wrong end of the stick. I won't go down that line because whatever I say you twist the meaning.
As to study, I have done deep research, I read and study the Bible, not what men say. The Bible tells us to read, study & meditate. Who of us doesn't want something better? If I thought or found anything better then I would be there first in the queue. I have searched a good number of years, I questioned vicars and priests, still do in fact, but I have found their so called answers to be of no value. Most just turn round and say it is a mystery - it is not. That is why I left the churches of christendom - I got no satisfying answers. I turned to the Bible and studied that instead. I also studied other books too, such as Two Babylons and the Bible as History etc. So I don't need you to tell me to do research thank you.
As to the concept of God being the creator - if he wasn't and we have just evolved - then what is the purpose of life? Why are we here? Why bother to study, learn, marry and have children? Why not just live and then die in line with "Let us eat and drink, for tomorrow we are to die".
I hope to have more than just that.
As usual Naomi you get the wrong end of the stick. I won't go down that line because whatever I say you twist the meaning.
As to study, I have done deep research, I read and study the Bible, not what men say. The Bible tells us to read, study & meditate. Who of us doesn't want something better? If I thought or found anything better then I would be there first in the queue. I have searched a good number of years, I questioned vicars and priests, still do in fact, but I have found their so called answers to be of no value. Most just turn round and say it is a mystery - it is not. That is why I left the churches of christendom - I got no satisfying answers. I turned to the Bible and studied that instead. I also studied other books too, such as Two Babylons and the Bible as History etc. So I don't need you to tell me to do research thank you.
As to the concept of God being the creator - if he wasn't and we have just evolved - then what is the purpose of life? Why are we here? Why bother to study, learn, marry and have children? Why not just live and then die in line with "Let us eat and drink, for tomorrow we are to die".
I hope to have more than just that.
Modeller@
//Could someone tell me why JWs don't eat meat when their God did in the Garden of Eden . He was given it by Abel and he was not pleased with the veggies offered by Cain. //
I eat meat, so do many other JWs. There is nothing wrong with eating meat. If people choose not to then that is their choice, just as you have a choice whether or not to eat it.
//Could someone tell me why JWs don't eat meat when their God did in the Garden of Eden . He was given it by Abel and he was not pleased with the veggies offered by Cain. //
I eat meat, so do many other JWs. There is nothing wrong with eating meat. If people choose not to then that is their choice, just as you have a choice whether or not to eat it.
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