Quizzes & Puzzles10 mins ago
Getting rid of Jehovahs Witnesses
79 Answers
There used to be a marvelous site on the 'net, called The Encyclopedia Of Stupid, which is sadly no longer with us, but I am grateful to it for the following fool-proof way of getting rid of Jehovah's Witnesses:::
Apparently, if you are a JW, and you do something ghastly, like perhaps having a small glass of wine with your lunch, you become persona non grata with your local Kingdom Hall. You become what is known as "Disfellowshipped"
All JW's are then supposed to shun you in a very serious way and avoid you like the plague. So, next time you are in the middle of making dinner, and the doorbell goes and its a couple of these pests standing there, don't tell them to bugger off, or something more Anglo Saxon. This can be fun of course but its just not effective enough. What you need is some really permanent.
Just tell them that you have been "Disfellowshipped" and they will run back down your front path, as fast as their little legs will carry them, as if the very devil was after them !
More importantly, your address will be added to their "Black List" and you will never be bothered ever again !
Apparently, if you are a JW, and you do something ghastly, like perhaps having a small glass of wine with your lunch, you become persona non grata with your local Kingdom Hall. You become what is known as "Disfellowshipped"
All JW's are then supposed to shun you in a very serious way and avoid you like the plague. So, next time you are in the middle of making dinner, and the doorbell goes and its a couple of these pests standing there, don't tell them to bugger off, or something more Anglo Saxon. This can be fun of course but its just not effective enough. What you need is some really permanent.
Just tell them that you have been "Disfellowshipped" and they will run back down your front path, as fast as their little legs will carry them, as if the very devil was after them !
More importantly, your address will be added to their "Black List" and you will never be bothered ever again !
Answers
This is worthy of a place on the Viz top tips page.
Dis
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Dis
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09:03 Fri 30th Nov 2012
Truthabounds, //As usual Naomi you get the wrong end of the stick. I won't go down that line because whatever I say you twist the meaning.//
I don’t believe I got the wrong end of the stick. You think I’m stupid not to believe as you do. That’s plain enough. Additionally, I don’t twist anything. I look at the evidence and read what’s there - without a pre-conceived agenda.
//I read and study the Bible, not what men say.//
The fact is your religion came into existence less than 200 years ago and it is fundamentally the product of the mind of Charles Taze Russell who knew no more about a Creator God than the vicars and priests you question. Nevertheless, you read the bible and interpret it as Mr Russell would have you interpret it, so, despite your protestations, you do listen to other men. Perhaps you should put the bible aside for a while and read Sam Harris or Christopher Hitchens – or even the ancient works of the Buddhists and Hindus - and consider what they have to say too.
//….what is the purpose of life?//
Why does life need a purpose? I’ve no doubt that the universe is teeming with life, so we’re not as special as we like to think. Like all living creatures we live – we die. That’s life. What’s wrong with that?
//As to the concept of God being the creator - if he wasn't and we have just evolved….//
You miss my point entirely. You see, even before you begin your research you assume that there are only two alternatives:
1. That Jehovah is the Creator God
2. Evolution….
….. but what if there’s a third alternative? What if a creator God does exist - but it’s not Jehovah? What if it’s something we have no knowledge of? Have you ever considered that? This is why I asked the question ‘Why attribute anything to the God of Abraham?’ Looking at the evidence, it is highly unlikely that your God, with his many faults, fulfils the role of an Almighty Creator, and therefore I think that anyone who adheres to this God is barking up the wrong tree. The records show without doubt that Jehovah is not what is he claimed by the religious - of all flavours - to be, and therefore, if a Creator God does exist it has to be something far greater than him – something quite beyond man’s vividly self-obsessed imagination.
I don’t believe I got the wrong end of the stick. You think I’m stupid not to believe as you do. That’s plain enough. Additionally, I don’t twist anything. I look at the evidence and read what’s there - without a pre-conceived agenda.
//I read and study the Bible, not what men say.//
The fact is your religion came into existence less than 200 years ago and it is fundamentally the product of the mind of Charles Taze Russell who knew no more about a Creator God than the vicars and priests you question. Nevertheless, you read the bible and interpret it as Mr Russell would have you interpret it, so, despite your protestations, you do listen to other men. Perhaps you should put the bible aside for a while and read Sam Harris or Christopher Hitchens – or even the ancient works of the Buddhists and Hindus - and consider what they have to say too.
//….what is the purpose of life?//
Why does life need a purpose? I’ve no doubt that the universe is teeming with life, so we’re not as special as we like to think. Like all living creatures we live – we die. That’s life. What’s wrong with that?
//As to the concept of God being the creator - if he wasn't and we have just evolved….//
You miss my point entirely. You see, even before you begin your research you assume that there are only two alternatives:
1. That Jehovah is the Creator God
2. Evolution….
….. but what if there’s a third alternative? What if a creator God does exist - but it’s not Jehovah? What if it’s something we have no knowledge of? Have you ever considered that? This is why I asked the question ‘Why attribute anything to the God of Abraham?’ Looking at the evidence, it is highly unlikely that your God, with his many faults, fulfils the role of an Almighty Creator, and therefore I think that anyone who adheres to this God is barking up the wrong tree. The records show without doubt that Jehovah is not what is he claimed by the religious - of all flavours - to be, and therefore, if a Creator God does exist it has to be something far greater than him – something quite beyond man’s vividly self-obsessed imagination.
Naomi
Truthabounds, //What records? Man's?//
Yes, indeed – otherwise known as the Bible – the book you depend upon and claim contains the ultimate truth.
//If there is other life in the universe why haven't we found it?//
That really is a ridiculous thing to say. Do you realise how limited we are technologically, and how big the universe actually is? The estimated number of galaxies, never mind stars within those galaxies, and the distances involved, is truly mind-blowing. Check it out.
As for the possibility (probability) that Jehovah wasn’t the Almighty Creator, it’s clear that the idea is completely beyond your comprehension. You haven’t the foggiest idea what I’m talking about.
The site was tweaked by the technical team last night and has been playing up ever since. They’re trying to fix it as we speak.
Yes, indeed – otherwise known as the Bible – the book you depend upon and claim contains the ultimate truth.
//If there is other life in the universe why haven't we found it?//
That really is a ridiculous thing to say. Do you realise how limited we are technologically, and how big the universe actually is? The estimated number of galaxies, never mind stars within those galaxies, and the distances involved, is truly mind-blowing. Check it out.
As for the possibility (probability) that Jehovah wasn’t the Almighty Creator, it’s clear that the idea is completely beyond your comprehension. You haven’t the foggiest idea what I’m talking about.
The site was tweaked by the technical team last night and has been playing up ever since. They’re trying to fix it as we speak.
Whoops! Almost forgot one - http
Naomi@
//Truthabounds, I don't recall discussing the size of the universe with you previously .//
I never said you were. I was referring to the fact that I know we do not know the exact size or extent of the universe.
Also I would point out that I am not ashamed of my convictions. I would stand up in any court of law (in fact I have already done so) in defence of my beliefs. So you, are nothing compared to that experience.
BTW I have no intention of leaving the site yet. I am going abroad for a few days so unless I can get online over there I may be absent.
Anyway, you never know, you may miss me ! lol!
//Truthabounds, I don't recall discussing the size of the universe with you previously .//
I never said you were. I was referring to the fact that I know we do not know the exact size or extent of the universe.
Also I would point out that I am not ashamed of my convictions. I would stand up in any court of law (in fact I have already done so) in defence of my beliefs. So you, are nothing compared to that experience.
BTW I have no intention of leaving the site yet. I am going abroad for a few days so unless I can get online over there I may be absent.
Anyway, you never know, you may miss me ! lol!
Truthabounds, you said //this is now just getting boring as we are continually going round in circles and rehashing the same old arguments.//
We were talking about the size of the universe and the possibility that Jehovah was not the Creator god (well, at least I was talking about the latter - you wouldn't consider the idea) – neither of which we’ve discussed before, so I don’t know what ‘same old arguments’ you’re referring to.
//I would stand up in any court of law (in fact I have already done so) in defence of my beliefs.//
I don’t mean to intrude, but if you were to tell me more I’d be extremely interested.
Have a nice trip. :o)
We were talking about the size of the universe and the possibility that Jehovah was not the Creator god (well, at least I was talking about the latter - you wouldn't consider the idea) – neither of which we’ve discussed before, so I don’t know what ‘same old arguments’ you’re referring to.
//I would stand up in any court of law (in fact I have already done so) in defence of my beliefs.//
I don’t mean to intrude, but if you were to tell me more I’d be extremely interested.
Have a nice trip. :o)
It amazes me how, under the cloak of anonymity, a group of obviously well-educated individuals can resort to such relentless vindictive comments regarding one section of society who have beliefs you do not agree with. What is wrong with politely saying 'Thank you but no I am not interested in learning about your religion as I have my own beliefs ' JW/Mormons whatever are human and will appreciate a bit of politeness just like you or I-you do not have to get into any narration with them -so why the malevolent comments? What happened to respecting other peoples beliefs even if you don't believe in them - oh hang on -thats too Pagan for most people....
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