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Is It In In Any Holy Book ?
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We have about 20 theists who contribute to Answer Bank so surely they can answer my simple question.
When Noah released all the animals on top of Mount Ararat or wherever
what did they live on ? The world was dead, all living organisms , plants and animals had been drowned by God's flood.
Nowadays whenever land is inundated with water for more than a few days it takes years to recover. So what happened to Noah's family and all those animals. How did they survive ?
goodlife, you have read the bible carefully so maybe you can tell me
the answer even if the other theists can't.
When Noah released all the animals on top of Mount Ararat or wherever
what did they live on ? The world was dead, all living organisms , plants and animals had been drowned by God's flood.
Nowadays whenever land is inundated with water for more than a few days it takes years to recover. So what happened to Noah's family and all those animals. How did they survive ?
goodlife, you have read the bible carefully so maybe you can tell me
the answer even if the other theists can't.
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I've posted this Noah-related transcript from Richard Herring's That Was Then, This Is Now radio show here before, but I sincerely believe it says everything about the Noah story.
"Can’t you just magic it?"
Quote:
RICH: According to the chronology of insane 17th century nutjob Archbishop James Ussher, the Great Deluge that prompted the creation of Noah’s Ark began on 25th November 2348BC. Gotta admire that specificity! Still he lived in the 17th century so maybe he can be forgiven for believing the world was created in 4004BC. What I find hard to countenance is that despite the wealth of evidence to the contrary some people still believe he was right today and I am not allowed to call them mental or ignorant for doing so, but have to respect their beliefs and their decision to live their lives based on the idea of one old book being infallibly true, even though it openly contradicts itself all the time and is at odds with all the geological, archaeological and biological evidence available to us. So I do respect that.
Well done, you people. Noah’s Ark is literally true and happened 4000 years ago, even though a 6 year old child would be able to point out a hundred reasons that it makes no sense - so let’s celebrate that trueness now in the form of a skit.
GRAMS BIBLICAL MUSIC EST AND FADE
FX BIBLICAL TIMES ATMOS UNDER.
FX THUNDERBOLT
GOD Hello.
MRS NOAH Oh hello God
GOD Is Noah around?
MRS NOAH I’ll just get him. Noah. It’s for you.
NOAH Who is it?
MRS NOAH It’s God
NOAH Oh… oh hello! What can I be doing you for?
GOD I am fed up with the wickedness of the people that I created to be wicked so I have decided to destroy them all.
NOAH That seems a bit drastic…
MRS NOAH Yes you did such a good job creating everything…
GOD Silence! They are rubbish and they all must perish. Except you. You’re all right.
NOAH Oh thanks. That means a lot. Especially coming from you.
GOD So I am going to send a gigantic flood to cover the world and kill everyone else.
NOAH Gosh. That seems a very elaborate way to go about things.
MRS NOAH Couldn’t you just sort of magic all the people you didn’t like dead?
NOAH Or why not just magic them so they are good.…?
GOD Don’t question me. I’ve thought it all through. Only a flood will guarantee that everyone is killed.
MRS NOAH Everyone who doesn’t have access to a boat.
GOD No, cos we’re inland so no-one has a boat.
NOAH The whole world isn’t inland though is it. Some of it is by the sea and people there will have boats and survive.
GOD Er…um… I will just magic it so that they die.
MRS NOAH Can’t you do that with everyone?
GOD No…. so for you to survive you will need to build a boat.
NOAH (quietly) It seems like a lot of effort…
GOD What?
NOAH Nothing.
GOD But a really big boat, because under the flood system I have implemented, all the innocent animals will die, so you need to go round and collect two of every species, one male, one female…
MRS NOAH You’re sure you don’t want to rethink the flood thing.
GOD Shut up. It’s a good idea.
NOAH A lot of animals are really dangerous though – won’t they eat me?
GOD I will magic it so they don’t.
MRS NOAH Can’t you just magic it that they are temporarily aquatic or can fly?
NOAH Or that the people you don’t like die without all this flooding and boat building.
GOD I could go off you Noah. You’re just being lazy.
NOAH I’m not lazy. But building this boat and collecting all the animals. It’s a logistical nightmare. I mean most of the world is undiscovered so far and there must be loads of animals I don’t even know about…
"Can’t you just magic it?"
Quote:
RICH: According to the chronology of insane 17th century nutjob Archbishop James Ussher, the Great Deluge that prompted the creation of Noah’s Ark began on 25th November 2348BC. Gotta admire that specificity! Still he lived in the 17th century so maybe he can be forgiven for believing the world was created in 4004BC. What I find hard to countenance is that despite the wealth of evidence to the contrary some people still believe he was right today and I am not allowed to call them mental or ignorant for doing so, but have to respect their beliefs and their decision to live their lives based on the idea of one old book being infallibly true, even though it openly contradicts itself all the time and is at odds with all the geological, archaeological and biological evidence available to us. So I do respect that.
Well done, you people. Noah’s Ark is literally true and happened 4000 years ago, even though a 6 year old child would be able to point out a hundred reasons that it makes no sense - so let’s celebrate that trueness now in the form of a skit.
GRAMS BIBLICAL MUSIC EST AND FADE
FX BIBLICAL TIMES ATMOS UNDER.
FX THUNDERBOLT
GOD Hello.
MRS NOAH Oh hello God
GOD Is Noah around?
MRS NOAH I’ll just get him. Noah. It’s for you.
NOAH Who is it?
MRS NOAH It’s God
NOAH Oh… oh hello! What can I be doing you for?
GOD I am fed up with the wickedness of the people that I created to be wicked so I have decided to destroy them all.
NOAH That seems a bit drastic…
MRS NOAH Yes you did such a good job creating everything…
GOD Silence! They are rubbish and they all must perish. Except you. You’re all right.
NOAH Oh thanks. That means a lot. Especially coming from you.
GOD So I am going to send a gigantic flood to cover the world and kill everyone else.
NOAH Gosh. That seems a very elaborate way to go about things.
MRS NOAH Couldn’t you just sort of magic all the people you didn’t like dead?
NOAH Or why not just magic them so they are good.…?
GOD Don’t question me. I’ve thought it all through. Only a flood will guarantee that everyone is killed.
MRS NOAH Everyone who doesn’t have access to a boat.
GOD No, cos we’re inland so no-one has a boat.
NOAH The whole world isn’t inland though is it. Some of it is by the sea and people there will have boats and survive.
GOD Er…um… I will just magic it so that they die.
MRS NOAH Can’t you do that with everyone?
GOD No…. so for you to survive you will need to build a boat.
NOAH (quietly) It seems like a lot of effort…
GOD What?
NOAH Nothing.
GOD But a really big boat, because under the flood system I have implemented, all the innocent animals will die, so you need to go round and collect two of every species, one male, one female…
MRS NOAH You’re sure you don’t want to rethink the flood thing.
GOD Shut up. It’s a good idea.
NOAH A lot of animals are really dangerous though – won’t they eat me?
GOD I will magic it so they don’t.
MRS NOAH Can’t you just magic it that they are temporarily aquatic or can fly?
NOAH Or that the people you don’t like die without all this flooding and boat building.
GOD I could go off you Noah. You’re just being lazy.
NOAH I’m not lazy. But building this boat and collecting all the animals. It’s a logistical nightmare. I mean most of the world is undiscovered so far and there must be loads of animals I don’t even know about…
GOD Yes there are! Billions. And I need you to discover them, develop the technical expertise to determine a male and female of each species and bring them back here to put on the boat which you also have to build. And don’t cut corners. When you get to the Galapagos Islands for example you will find 13 essentially similar, but slightly different species of finches and you must get two of each. I created them especially to make it appear as if a thing called evolution existed, so I could test people’s faith and I will be furious if they perish.
MRS NOAH So presumably we’d better collect 2 of every race of people as well.
GOD No, just you two and your sons Shem, Ham and Japheth and their wives, from whom all future humans will be descended.
NOAH With the best will in the world God, I and all my sons are Jewish and even if their wives happen to be Chinese, African and Aborigine, which seems pretty unlikely given Jewish traditions, do you really think it’s conceivable that they will have people a multi-cultural and racially diverse world in just 4000 years?
GOD …. I will magic it so they do.
MRS NOAH Can’t you just magic it so…
GOD No, I want a flood and we’re having a flood. Why are you being so prediluvian about this?
NOAH It just seems a little bit implausible and unnecessary. Can’t you come up with something a little bit more likely? Maybe it’s just a localised flood and I manage to cobble together a raft and save a dog? Then maybe anyone over 5 can believe it actually happened.
GOD You have to believe, Noah. If Father Christmas can get round to all the children of the world in a single night, then you can build an ark and collect all those animals in an hour.
NOAH An hour?
GOD Didn’t I mention that?
FX THUNDER BOLT. RAIN STARTS POURING DOWN UNDER.
Mrs NOAH You’ve got to be kidding you mentalist.
GOD Right half an hour.
NOAH Oh God.
GOD That’s my name don’t wear it out.
Fx SAWING AND BANGING
FX OUT
BAND/STING That Was Then This Is Now – It’s Biblical!
RICH Take that God! I wouldn’t like to be Him once that sketch is broadcast. We got him!
MRS NOAH So presumably we’d better collect 2 of every race of people as well.
GOD No, just you two and your sons Shem, Ham and Japheth and their wives, from whom all future humans will be descended.
NOAH With the best will in the world God, I and all my sons are Jewish and even if their wives happen to be Chinese, African and Aborigine, which seems pretty unlikely given Jewish traditions, do you really think it’s conceivable that they will have people a multi-cultural and racially diverse world in just 4000 years?
GOD …. I will magic it so they do.
MRS NOAH Can’t you just magic it so…
GOD No, I want a flood and we’re having a flood. Why are you being so prediluvian about this?
NOAH It just seems a little bit implausible and unnecessary. Can’t you come up with something a little bit more likely? Maybe it’s just a localised flood and I manage to cobble together a raft and save a dog? Then maybe anyone over 5 can believe it actually happened.
GOD You have to believe, Noah. If Father Christmas can get round to all the children of the world in a single night, then you can build an ark and collect all those animals in an hour.
NOAH An hour?
GOD Didn’t I mention that?
FX THUNDER BOLT. RAIN STARTS POURING DOWN UNDER.
Mrs NOAH You’ve got to be kidding you mentalist.
GOD Right half an hour.
NOAH Oh God.
GOD That’s my name don’t wear it out.
Fx SAWING AND BANGING
FX OUT
BAND/STING That Was Then This Is Now – It’s Biblical!
RICH Take that God! I wouldn’t like to be Him once that sketch is broadcast. We got him!
Alright, so Noah took clean and unclean animals. But why on earth did he take the locusts, mosquitos, bed-bugs, fleas, lice and about a million different types of flies and beetles ? If he left all the evil people to drown, why not the insects which carry diseases like plague and malaria ? and germs and viruses ? Surely, the "good" people who were left after the flood didn't need to be punished with anthrax and the Black death ( which incidentally might be the same thing - the jury's still out.)
While we're at it, I've always wondered where all that gopher-wood came from. It surely took several huge forests to build what must have been a sort of floating Wembley Stadium. Then we must assume Noah harvested all the crops and grasses and fruits ( etc ) for miles around, so altogether he must have cleared many hundreds of square miles of vegetation - even if the plants were not all to be ruined by salt-water later. It seems Noah was probably responsible for creating the huge areas of deserts which still exist in the Middle East.
And where did all the saws, hammers, nails and caulking come from ?
More magic ?
And where did all the saws, hammers, nails and caulking come from ?
More magic ?
-- answer removed --
-- answer removed --
Whilst I agree with you ' birdie ' in principle, you have to remember if the theists start to doubt that story or any other in the bible it throws doubt on all the contents of the bible. Quite simply it can undermine their faith and they need faith to cope with life. A crutch !
Remember it took the church more than 2000 years to accept that the earth goes round the sun and some believers still don't.
Remember it took the church more than 2000 years to accept that the earth goes round the sun and some believers still don't.
Modeller@
//Remember it took the church more than 2000 years to accept that the earth goes round the sun//
I don't know about the church taking 2000 years, but it is in the Bible so if they read the Bible they would know that the earth rotates around the sun, and that the earth is round not flat. They would also know about the water cycle and lots of other thing we take for granted.
//Remember it took the church more than 2000 years to accept that the earth goes round the sun//
I don't know about the church taking 2000 years, but it is in the Bible so if they read the Bible they would know that the earth rotates around the sun, and that the earth is round not flat. They would also know about the water cycle and lots of other thing we take for granted.
Birdie@
//Please do the decent and honest thing and admit that the Noah's Ark story is just that – a story.//
I accept the account of the flood. I understand you do not accept the Bible, but the Bible also tells us that God cannot lie. So the fact he had this account recorded for us is evidence to believers that it occurred. Also Jesus himself referred to this account when he gave signs for his followers to watch for with regard to the end of this wicked system of things.
If I appear silly to you, so be it. I don't really care what your opinion is of me.
//Please do the decent and honest thing and admit that the Noah's Ark story is just that – a story.//
I accept the account of the flood. I understand you do not accept the Bible, but the Bible also tells us that God cannot lie. So the fact he had this account recorded for us is evidence to believers that it occurred. Also Jesus himself referred to this account when he gave signs for his followers to watch for with regard to the end of this wicked system of things.
If I appear silly to you, so be it. I don't really care what your opinion is of me.
Truthabounds, //the Bible also tells us that God cannot lie.//
It also tells us that God does lie. Yet more contradictions.
Ezekiel 14:9
And if a prophet be deceived when he hath spoken a thing, I the Lord have deceived that prophet.
2 Thessalonians 2:11
For this cause God shall send them strong delusion, that they should believe a lie.
What was that Jesus said about ‘false prophets’? Take heed, Truthabounds.
It also tells us that God does lie. Yet more contradictions.
Ezekiel 14:9
And if a prophet be deceived when he hath spoken a thing, I the Lord have deceived that prophet.
2 Thessalonians 2:11
For this cause God shall send them strong delusion, that they should believe a lie.
What was that Jesus said about ‘false prophets’? Take heed, Truthabounds.
-- answer removed --
-- answer removed --
Naomi @ Regarding the quoted scriptures:
Jehovah God allows “an operation of error” to go to persons who prefer falsehood “that they may get to believing the lie” rather than the good news about Jesus Christ.
This principle is illustrated by what happened centuries earlier in the case of Israelite King Ahab. Lying prophets assured Ahab of success in war against Ramoth-gilead, while Jehovah’s prophet Micaiah foretold disaster. As revealed in vision to Micaiah, Jehovah allowed a spirit creature to become “a deceptive spirit” in the mouth of Ahab’s prophets. That is to say, this spirit creature exercised his power upon them so that they spoke, not truth, but what they themselves wanted to say and what Ahab wanted to hear from them. Though forewarned, Ahab preferred to be fooled by their lies and paid for it with his life.—1Ki 22:1-38; 2Ch 18.
Put yourselves in the place of King Ahab. You prefer to believe the lie rather than the truth. You may say you don't but there is a power beyond what you can comprehend. But I am sorry to say, if you continue prefering the lies of this world, you will find out too late that what you preferred to believe was wrong.
And I am not threatening you, this is what the future holds
Jehovah God allows “an operation of error” to go to persons who prefer falsehood “that they may get to believing the lie” rather than the good news about Jesus Christ.
This principle is illustrated by what happened centuries earlier in the case of Israelite King Ahab. Lying prophets assured Ahab of success in war against Ramoth-gilead, while Jehovah’s prophet Micaiah foretold disaster. As revealed in vision to Micaiah, Jehovah allowed a spirit creature to become “a deceptive spirit” in the mouth of Ahab’s prophets. That is to say, this spirit creature exercised his power upon them so that they spoke, not truth, but what they themselves wanted to say and what Ahab wanted to hear from them. Though forewarned, Ahab preferred to be fooled by their lies and paid for it with his life.—1Ki 22:1-38; 2Ch 18.
Put yourselves in the place of King Ahab. You prefer to believe the lie rather than the truth. You may say you don't but there is a power beyond what you can comprehend. But I am sorry to say, if you continue prefering the lies of this world, you will find out too late that what you preferred to believe was wrong.
And I am not threatening you, this is what the future holds
Naomi@ Maybe you do. But it is not what I say personally. My study of the scriptures has shown me that there is a time coming very soon when God will no longer tolerate the unrighteousness on the earth. You can laugh and scoff all you like, you cannot change the inevitable outcome.
There is no guarantee that I will survive. But I love God and I try to live my life in accord with Bible principles. I have faith and believe what the Scriptures tell us. Whether you do or not is entirely up to you, no one can force you. But all I will say, is that I do not want to see people die unnecessarily. You can view that how you want!
For example, if I saw that your house was on fire and you were asleep. You would appreciate my waking you up and warning you - wouldn’t you? Or would you say, ”go away I’m sleeping do not disturb me!”
In a similar way Jehovah God raised up prophets who served as figurative watchmen to the nation of Israel
(Jer 6:17: - And I raised up over YOU people watchmen, ‘Pay attention to the sound of the horn!’” But they kept saying: “We are not going to pay attention.- ),
and they, in turn, sometimes spoke of watchmen in a symbolic way.
(Isaiah 62:6 -Upon your walls, O Jerusalem, I have commissioned watchmen. All day long and all night long, constantly, let them not keep still.“YOU who are making mention of Jehovah, let there be no silence on YOUR part).
These prophet-watchmen had the responsibility to warn the wicked of impending destruction, and if they failed to do so, they were held accountable. Of course, if the people were unresponsive and failed to heed the warning, their blood was upon themselves. (Ezekiel 3:17-21; 33:1-9)
There is no guarantee that I will survive. But I love God and I try to live my life in accord with Bible principles. I have faith and believe what the Scriptures tell us. Whether you do or not is entirely up to you, no one can force you. But all I will say, is that I do not want to see people die unnecessarily. You can view that how you want!
For example, if I saw that your house was on fire and you were asleep. You would appreciate my waking you up and warning you - wouldn’t you? Or would you say, ”go away I’m sleeping do not disturb me!”
In a similar way Jehovah God raised up prophets who served as figurative watchmen to the nation of Israel
(Jer 6:17: - And I raised up over YOU people watchmen, ‘Pay attention to the sound of the horn!’” But they kept saying: “We are not going to pay attention.- ),
and they, in turn, sometimes spoke of watchmen in a symbolic way.
(Isaiah 62:6 -Upon your walls, O Jerusalem, I have commissioned watchmen. All day long and all night long, constantly, let them not keep still.“YOU who are making mention of Jehovah, let there be no silence on YOUR part).
These prophet-watchmen had the responsibility to warn the wicked of impending destruction, and if they failed to do so, they were held accountable. Of course, if the people were unresponsive and failed to heed the warning, their blood was upon themselves. (Ezekiel 3:17-21; 33:1-9)
Truthabounds, I don’t laugh and scoff at the evil message you are determined to inflict upon the minds of the naïve. Far from it. There’s nothing funny about setting yourself on some sort of sanctimonious pedestal and judging everyone who doesn’t do the same wicked. If you saw my house on fire I would certainly wake up at your calling – but from a practical perspective I have no reason to concern myself unduly with the figment of your puerile imagination that is the horrendously damaging dogma of your religion. What you don’t seem to understand is that even in the highly unlikely event that you are right, I don’t want to spend eternity with spineless, quaking, sycophants who, at the expense of their own precious intellect, kowtow to the man-made monstrous philosophy that you embrace in the futile hope of avoiding the inevitable. I have a happy and successful life – most importantly I love and am loved in return – and I accept the fact that one day I will die. My mind is at peace and I am content, so you really have nothing I want or need.
