If you are unsatisfied and unfulfilled with the answers you are receiving this is why. You are either not asking the right questions or have given up trying to find the answers, perhaps because you were told the answers do not exist by those who are themselves afraid to know or because of the fear that was instilled in you by them, you chose to believe them. Perhaps your greatest fear is that in choosing to put your faith in faith and believe in the existence of �God�??? you have sold your heart mind and soul to the very devil you were running from. The self you have so woefully sacrificed on the alter of faith is the ghost that will haunt you on your death bed as you hope beyond reason for the unearned reward and promise of heaven that has deprived you of the meaning and appreciation for the value that could have and would have been your life if you had only known that it was possible and had worked to make it a reality. You have not turned your other cheek to your greatest enemy, you have embraced him and intentionally overturned the coin of reason from heads to tails choosing to have faith that he was your friend while your real friends mourn the loss of the one you have betrayed, yourself.
If there remains any echo of the reverberation of reason still whispering in the hollows of your mind it is not to late to reclaim your rightful place in reality and on this Earth. Insist on the truth that can only be found in reality and the truth will set you free from the toothless clawless clutches of your real enemy, faith.