What to do?

[ummmm]

I've mentioned before that my Mum is a born again Christian. My son goes to her house at least once a week. The last few weeks he's been getting more and more worried about going. Today he told me that she's scaring him. All she talks about is when Christians die they will be going to heaven. She's talking about people like herself....He's now scared of me dying and worried that I'm going to hell.

Would you stop him seeing her if it was your child?

Besides this problem she's a good person...she just seems to be getting more and more obsessed the older shes getting...

[ummmm]

I don't visit her. I only see her if she's at my Grandads. He knows it's always been his choice but it's only recently that she's been talking about going to heaven and 'us' not. I'm not sure if he wants me to take the decision away from him and stop him going. Although he hasn't said it that's the impression I'm getting.

Plus he's sick of the God channel and her comments about the music he listens to...

[Ankou]

he's probably about ready to give it a skip, so make the decision for him.

[ummmm]

Think I will...

Thanks everyone :-)

[naomi24]

I disagree entirely with Woofgang. Religion does make people crazy - and in my experience the Born Again variety are among the craziest. You could try talking to her, but it won't do any good. Obsession is a dangerous thing. Unless you go with him so that you are able to step in if she starts banging on about religion, I would keep him away from her altogether. He's told you she's scaring him and his welfare has to be your priority. If you continue to allow him to be exposed to her nutty thought processes you would be neglecting your responsibilities - and from the little I know about you, Ummmm, I really don't believe you would do that. Good luck. x

[RATTER15]

Knowing a little of your own religious beliefs, you could either laugh it off with your son and explain that she has got it wrong and that you are in fact a true christian, in which case why would you go to hell or give him my views of it, in that case no heaven, no hell, life is great :-) after all, I made my mind up and decided on atheism also at the age of 12, just guide him to make the right decision, give him your very honest views. Help him make an informed decision.

[Ankou]

"Religion does make people crazy - and in my experience the Born Again variety are among the craziest."

hmm, my thoughts are as woofgangs, that often the 'craziness' as you so bluntly snear at, is perhaps already laying dormant in the mind of some people, and when such people are convinced of various things it tips them over. for some its religion, for others its something else. not all 'crazies' are religious, and not all religious are 'crazy'.

[naomi24]

I agree. Not all crazies are religious, Ankou. ;o)

[ummmm]

He goes to stay with her on a Wednesday one week and a Friday the next. I might start by only letting him go on a Friday because he has youth club from 5pm til 9pm and doesn't get home from school until 4.30pm. That's not giving her much actual time with him...

My two Aunty's are/was born again. They aren't/wasn't like my Mum...

[RATTER15]

I agree Naomi, look at me :-)

[Ankou]

thats my point ummmm.
good luck with it.

[Sqad]

ummmm...you tell your mum that if she doesn't stop talking religion to him, you will forbid your son to see her.

[ummmm]

He'll be OK...I just don't want him to feel guilty.

[naomi24]

Ratter, haaaaa! Exactly! :o)

Ummmm, seriously, I really wouldn't worry about upsetting her - he has to be your priority. I wouldn't have a child of mine exposed to someone like her for any length of time - no matter what the relationship. Religion screws with the mind.

[ummmm]

Extreme religion does.

I'm not worried about upsetting her. If she wanted to see her Grand kids so bad she could always pop round to my house which just happens to be a 5 minute walk from her work. Something she's never done....

[ponjee]

im 14 and my grandfather starts preaching to my siblings and I so i kind of understand what your sons problem is. But does your son understand where his nana is coming from? Has he been to church?
Maybe you just need to go to take him to church so he understands or just explain to him what will happen when we die. maye he wont be scared anymore.

[ummmm]

He goes to a Catholic school...Church youth club and Mass every Sunday. He knows enough...

[naomi24]

Well that's your answer. If I were you I'd tell her why your son isn't going to visit her any more but say if she gives you a ring to let you know when she's coming, she's more than welcome to come and visit him.

[ponjee]

aww okay. soo hes scared of dying?

[ummmm]

She won't bother. I think I make her feel uncomfortable. I'm a reminder of her mistakes...

[ummmm]

He's not scared of dying...he's scared of me dying and what will happen to me...