Facebook ‘Friends’

[naomi24]

Solely in order to keep abreast of news of his sports club, my husband has recently signed up to Facebook, but he’s now receiving invitations from people of our acquaintance who have nothing to do with his sports club to be ‘friends’. Some of these people aren’t friends in real life, but simply people we happen to know - one is a neighbour we rarely see or speak to - so how does that work? Does Facebook somehow link its members to other people through personal email address lists or something like that? It all seems rather intrusive to me – not to say highly suspicious.

[yogasun]

Ignore them Naomi, I get this. Some people love to have the mximum no. of 'friends' and ask casual acquaintances to befriend them.
Sorry won't comment again, have to go out!! x

[ummmm]

It 'suggests' friends usually because they are friends of friends. Sometimes it randomly suggests someone where you have no friends in common.

Just ignore them.

[naomi24]

Thanks girls - but we've had nothing to do with Facebook until now, and I'd really like to know how that organisation is aware that a neighbour with whom we have very little contact knows us. It's not as though they can match postcodes to know that we live in the same area.

[rojash]

Most often it's because they are friend of a friend. When you log into FB, it continually suggests that you might want to become friends with people purely on the basis that you have x mutual friends. Some people just agree and let FB send out automatic friend requests.

[naomi24]

My husband doesn't have any 'friends' - not one. (Doesn't that sound sad). :o)

What I mean is he's not interested in the 'friends' thing, and only contributes to the 'group' section that is his sports club.

[ummmm]

Is it suggesting friends in common with the other members of the group?

[rockyracoon]

Sometimes friends requests are not friends requests but recommendations by other friends, I had one last week, looked like a friend request so I clicked on confirm, then it said my request had been sent! Turns out 2 mutual friends had recommended me and sent a request to send a request, if that makes sense. Quite annoying as I had to log into desktop FB (I was on iPad app) to cancel it.

[rockyracoon]

Naomi, you can go into setting somewhere and block friends requests. Not sure where it is but it's there somewhere, I'll have a look.

[naomi24]

Ummmm, I don't know. I'll have a look.

Rocky, thanks. I'm sure my husband will appreciate that.

I find this all very 'Big Brother'. Hate it.

[rockyracoon]

Top right hand corner there is a padlock. Click on that, then options for who can contact me, click on that and go from there. It did only let me have 2 options regarding friends requests, everyone or friends of friends. If he refuses friends immediately and changes to this setting, then it should work out as essentially no one will be able to request him, if that makes sense. I'm sure there used to be a total block, he might also want to change the settings (in the same bit)

[rockyracoon]

Sorry hit submit too soon

To strict filtering, only friends will be able to send messages. Essentially it'll make him uncontactable through FB.

[Eve]

I think there is (or at least should be) an option not to come up in any search results too.

I think FB picks up on a new user with no friends and goes into a bit of a push to get friends for you.

I know I get emails from it (especially if not on for a while) sayind "Do you know....". There are also, as said above, people flashing up as to people you might know and a whole list if you click on it.

Strange how it finds people (save connected to his sports club) though if he has't selected any Facebook friends.

[naomi24]

Thanks very much Rocky, and Eve.

I'd really like to know how this happens.

[grasscarp]

I made up a fake name once to join facebook as I wanted to enter a competition that could only be done through it. Within a few days I had a message that my sister in law in Australia wanted to friend me. I left facebook quickly as it scared me.

[whiskeryron]

Hi naomi I was encouraged to join F/B wayback but I was only in it for a couple of months, like you I became highly suspicious & receiving messages from total strangers, in the end I opted out & have been very glad ever since.

WR.

[cazzz1975]

Sometimes it will suggest people who share common interests, area's schools and workplaces as potential friends

[naomi24]

Ron, I don't mind strangers - it's how people we know are mysteriously linked to us that worries me. Look at Grasscarp's post. That's scary!

Cazz, I've had a look at the people in my husband's sports club and know none of their 'friends', so these invitations aren't linked to them.

[boxtops]

It's usually friends of friends, naomi - so other people in the group will have friends being suggested to you. Just say "not now" and they go away.

[Sparkles62]

I use fb to keep in touch with the kids, seven of them and the grandkids, and a few proper friends.
Mr Sparkles set himself an account up a few weeks ago and turned it off after a week, he was totally freaked out by all the people wanting to be his "friend", most of whom he either didn't know, or they were friends of people that I or the kids know.
I just ignore them.

[rockyracoon]

Email addresses are another way, you could have inadvertently allowed FB to look in your email address book, it'll then link you to anyone in it.

My Rocky profile only attracts suggestions from the real me and the AB page as I don't really have friends on it, and I have used my throwaway email address.