I think that Ethel has given some great advice - I am not that computer literate, but i do have the same as you, AOL with XP. I have had horrendous problems with aol and have ended up having to ditch everything on my PC and start again - not usre if this was exactly caused by aol, but I have my suspicions!
Anyhoo, point of this post from me was that after mucking about with them for the last couple of months, I asked aol for my MAC code so that I can go elsewhere and in a spirit of reconciliation, the sent me a new router - I ended up having to buy an network card thingy as the slot on my PC (5 and a half yeras old) didn't actually seem to have any hardware behind it, but it only cost �6. However, set it all up yesterday and it is working great - i thought that I would need a new PC as well, but I think it has a reprieve. If you are still using a normal modem, I would persue them for a router as they admitted on the phone to my husband that the modem we had (which they supplied) was crap and that they had had a lot of problems with it every time they do an upgrade.
Hope you get sorted out soon.